Waiting for the seasons to change.

TGIF - not. (learnt this abbreviation from beth today)
Had one of the worst fridays ever. But I'd really like to thank everyone who comforted me, I'm really touched.

After chinese tuition, sat on the curb forlornly near NTUC at nine-thirty while waiting for dad to pick me up.
And suddenly, this car shone its blinding headlights right into my eyes, before swerving frighteningly near me, and for this ephemeral moment I just wanted it to smash right into me.
But then again, some people think of such stupid ludricrous scenarios when they're so disconsolate and upset.

I would never want to kena something like that lah, obviously.

I guess I've gained enlightenment today.
That true friends are those that'll stand by you, listen to you pour out all your grievances; problems and no matter what, they'll just find a way to make you better. That true friends will stand the passing of time, and nothing can replace friends whom you've known for such a long period, because you'll know they'll be there for you when you need them.

Maybe it's not always a neccessity to constantly promulgate how grateful you are for all your friends, or prove this fact with a flurry of annoying "ILY <333333333s", or gush mushy-wushy words so sickeningly sugary sweet that they can cause tooth decay, because sometimes these things just seem so fake. After having been uttered so casually and commonly in so many other circumstances, won't the true meaning and actual sincerity of such words gradually dissipate and mean nothing eventually?

I just hope all those who've comforted me, stood by me all this while know how much I appreciate them, even though I may not say it aloud all the time.
I'm so blessed to have such friends.
I really, really am.

So thank you.

Everybody's talking how I can't, can't be your love;

CAS are over. I need to replenish all the sleep I lost, and get some shut-eye. Slept at freaking 2.30 every night, and I'm dead beat. All were pretty alright, except I only finished bio and social studies. Emath was horrible. Failing it will mean I have failed all the emath papers including the spring tests we did from the start of the year. (with the exception of the mid year.) I seriously don't want to fail overall. Oh my gosh. TELL ME WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO MY MATH. I NEED AN ANSWER.

Truth and dare was taken to a whole new level today.
Breakdancing in front of the whole class.
Taking out fbts, standing on the chair and swinging it around in the air.
Break dancing without underwear. (okay this wasn't really carried out to the maximum)

Tessa had to run around with her shorts pulled down to below her knees in front of the class, point to her chest and yell, "THESE ARE FAKE! THESE ARE FAKE!"

I have never laughed so much in my life before.

Currently online shopping, though I absolutely detest it. I just discovered the tracyeinny voucher I won at the guides carnival last month expires on Saturday. I had no idea what a notable and distinguishable blogshop they were until I went to their website. Thought it was just some cheapo ahlian one haha. I don't want to waste getting ten dollars off a purchase! So I'm thinking of travelling down to their showcase whatever shop at PEOPLE'S PARK COMPLEX WHICH IS SO DAMN FAR to see the stuff they have, becasue doing postage and bank transfers are just too much of a hassle.

I realise we never really fully appreciate things until they're gone, because we just seem to possess this very common ability of taking things for granted. This is a rather sad excuse for not treasuring what we have. It may seem strange to talk about the DM'S departure from the school (omg sounds os ominous) in this manner, but I'm going to miss her a lot. She's like so cute/funny/nice/understanding/amicable! And definitely more reasonable than Mdm Lenny. I still remember hating her like nobody's business at the start of the year, after she made me stand up during assembly for talking, being rude to her whenever she spoke to me about my bangs covering my eyebrows, and always sleeping in her lessons. I feel so incredibly guilty now. I was such a bitch man. She's like so damn nice okay. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Social studies sucks now. Mr Low is good, but he's just different.

I CAN'T BELIEVE I JUST TYPED A PARAGRAPH ABOUT THE DM.
Hahahaahahahahahahaha.

And we could have done without the drama.

Retarded breathless wet spastic screaming crazy wacked abusive fun.
Went down for recess and finally bought from the economic rice store, after having stayed in class for so many weeks.
Sat with 3e2-ers. As we walked round the bend in the canteen, noticed some mass of flies wings(?)/transparent petals/gross bugs surrounding half the floor, and we were stepping on the whole lot.
Screamed like mad and fled. Vic and I went closer to inspect and were scared out of our wits.
My poor new wallet is traumatised after having being manhandled by vic and nat, and after school Rachel was purposely throwing it up in the air right before this puddle of water spilled on the classroom floor, attempting to catch it before it dropped into the water. THEN FOR REAL SHE DROPPED IT D:<

Waterfight ensued. Everything got wet.

Waterfights are fun.

Oh sweetheart, put the bottle down.

It's official- Ryan has chickenpox.
It's even more contagious than H1N1.
Got scolded by parents because I was treating him like a leper, as they claim.
I can't help it, can I? I'm so incredibly scared I'll catch it.
I cannot bear to even entertain the thought of having to skip school for two weeks.
Dozing off in one amath lesson already leaves me clueless on one entire chapter.
Sec three calls for no rest, you don't have time for anything.
Why oh why couldn't I have gotten chickenpox when I was younger?

I'm practically isolating my brother now.
And if I have to share the com with him, I'm going to drench my hands in hand sanitizer and wear latex gloves. Drastic times call for measures.
Oh please immune system do not let me down. (so transport in mammals-ish)
Going off to the community centre now to mug, I'm so paranoid I don't even want to be in the house.

I am starting to become a compulsive shopper.
Bought a pair of shorts today, (managed to coher a random stranger into getting one too, so we could get the two-for-one deal discount, YAY) and a new wallet, to replace the pink ROXY one dear becca got for me from Thailand. Thanks to me losing my entire MYUK one four months back.

Dammit I feel so unsafe in the house.

We'll stir the stars around, and watch them fall away.

Not one of the best fridays. Emoed on the bus. I haven't used that word in ages!
Couple of mortifying moments. And I still shudder in utter embarrassment when I recall them.
First thing, the school should just seriously stuff every cubicle with toilet paper. Can they just spare a thought for us and replenish daily sanitary necessities efficiently?
I shall not bother to elaborate on the rest.

Ryan has a fever. And he may have chicken pox.
Please god no. Parents vaccinated all of us last time (like so dense lah, we'll still get it eventually) and so none of us have gotten it yet. IF HE REALLY HAS CHICKEN POX AND IF I CATCH IT I AM SCREWED SHIT.
Okay okay okay touchwood.
And in a mere twist of coincidence, I wrote that long ago due essay titled "Outbreak" for Ms Ng today after school, in the process creating some fictional virus called Danzi.
And Ryan is sick! Okay never mind there's not really any connection.

In a complete unrelated matter,
Insecurities are starting to kick in.
Not good.

Seems like just yesterday.

This is so unbelivably random and everyone is probably going to think I have gone insanely patriotic. Finally, finally found this National Day Song that I've been looking for on youtube! I couldn't remember the name, and for so many years, could only vaguely recall two lines in the song, as well as the tune. I knew how it went, and I thought the song was called "Moments...something something..." and I just discovered it's actually called Moments Of Magic! Produced in 1999, and was the Singapore Millenium song, and Fann Wong, Tanya Chua, Elsa Lin (!??! Mrs Diane Ang bears an uncanny resemblance to her) sang it. So technically it's not an NDP song, but never mind. I still remember how I'd always jump up whenever I saw the music video being played back then, I would jump up and start dancing + singing maniacally.

Gave Ange a yellow rose today, and her very belated letter. I AM SUCH A NICE PERSON(:
New route for 2.4km. [YES BETH I SHALL REPLY YOU HERE(:] Excused from PE, so didn't get to try it out. I hope it'll be less taxing on my poor frail body.

Tessa was mysteriously impregnated by an unknown source today. Take care dear.
If she sees this, I'll probably end in hospital tomorrow.

Went to Pasta Mania with Rach, Amanda and Treeza for lunch.
I need to be less blur, and more alert.

Hope floats.

Nearly froze my butt off shivering in my seat, with constant draft entering the windows, and the fact that I sit right under the fan did not improve the situation. But the rain was so refreshing. I love staring out of rain-stained window panes in the middle of lessons, gazing at the overcast sky and basking in the oppressive gloom of the weather. Strange, but I love rain rain rain rain.
It would have been cooler if a thunderstorm had occurred though.

Highlight of the day:
That ass Nat smacking the sole of her filthy, dirty, shoe right into my face. TELL ME, WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE SUCH ABUSIVE TREATMENT HUH!?!?!? Sob.

Passed amath. 21.5 over 40. Thank you thank you thank you. I am not going to repeat this shit again. Listening compre was erm; no comment. I think I had a few answers were wrong, and that's very demoralising, but I really hope I can obtain a decent mark. And I initially signed my name in INK on the OAS sheet (the one for shading!), then nearly recoiled in horror when I found out what I had done. Hastily cancelled my signature before signing it again with a pencil. How the heck could I have made such a mistake.

Who knew that a tiny tub of cold, creamy peanut butter ice cream topped with brownies and kueno bueno could momentarily provide such heavenly surreal bliss? Ice cream chefs with Amanda after may have burned a hole in my wallet, (no free mix-ins today) but I proclaim ice-cream to be the bestest comfort food ever.

Bittersweet.

My stomach, legs, shoulders all ached after Napfa. So much for being fit.

Did quite alright yesterday, Sit and Reach (my worst item! But got a 43 after stretching for days, DAMN PAIN. ) left my right leg paralysed. Sit-ups 34, shuttle run 11.2, couldn't be bothered for second tries because they were already As. Hahahaha. Then Standing Broad Jump was 182, and the stupid teacher didn't allow me a second try to attempt for an A. WHERE GOT SUCH THING LAH. Pull-ups-14, my arm muscles failed me:(

I AM NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO 2.4. I hate long-distance.

No disecting of any heart today during bio. What a pity. Reason being, as Mr Peh claimed:

"I don't know how to disect."

Right.
But at least we didn't have to go to the bio lab.

Sprayed water like a fountain all over my desk, calculator, pinafore, blouse because Natasha did some stupid thing that for some inexplicable reason made me burst out laughing when my mouth was full of water. Sat throughout drenched and soaked. Thanks, Nat.
Failed Emath paper, AGAIN. WHEN AM I EVER GOING TO FREAKING PASS LAH. (with exception of mid-years)
MS YEO HATES ME. This is so horrible.
Oh well. Peanut butter from the jar makes me happy.

MT o'level listening comprehension tomorrow.
It's Ting Li for goodness sake. I need to pass this, and get a good grade. Please please please.
Makes me wonder how I failed the HMT one last May, with a very nice looking 8/20.
I shall go dig my ears.
Okay I need to have confidence.

Bus 31 with den, weisze to end off(:

Kabloom.

Maybe, just maybe.

I know what I have to do now.

Because I hate goodbyes.

Fifteen long years, thank you for everything.
God bless you, Auntie Leyne.
My eyes are puffy, red and I could barely open them this morning.
Last night was bathed in tears, cried in Borders while looking for her present in the afternoon, and in the car while going home from Parkway, and at the airport.
I'll miss her, so much.

On a more comforting notes,
I finally found the virgin suicides at borders, after searching for it for aeons.
Hooray.

If You Could See Me Now.

vaish I always knew you were going to be head prefect ever since the day I met you and you sat beside me in class and booked me for eating bread during mr yap's lesson and you are going to be the most awesome head prefect in the history of awesome head prefects.

I LOVE YOU VAISH!

Pink pigs ftw<3

Screamed and screamed when they announced the exco over the PA system today.
Yes I know I am slow because sadly there aren't any prefects in 3e2 so I was unable to get any info beforehand.
Screamed more when I found out BOF was on the cover of teenage. Wei Sze, Jun Pyo is hot. He just is!
Bonded with den after school(: I miss you den! Chatted in my class for a while before she left for tuition. Then I came home and Auntie Leyne painted my toenails pink. I can't believe she's leaving tomorrow. Fifteen years of being part of the family and she's leaving. I don't even want to think about it.
Slept on the couch, before leaving for Parkway for chinese tuition.
Got ragged on by dad about my exorbitant expediture. I HATE THAT. Got super pissed off because he called me a compulsive shopper, just because I bought some Cotton On stuff, and that I had to borrow money for him to buy presents for numerous good friends this month. What is so wrong about loving my friends and wanting them to be happy on their birthday, instead of being nonchalent about such important things and not give them anything? That would be so uhhs.
I so need to get a job.

It's raining paper hearts from above.

FINALLY FINISHED FILMING CHINESE PROJECT VIDEO SCENES.
My gosh. I hope they don't ever, ever show it to the class, or rather ANYONE who knows who I am.
If not, I can never show my face in public for as long as I live. Never. Ever. Ever.
I looked like shit, acted like shit (what was with the angmoh-chinese?) and walao man looked so bloody fat in the video. I am so appalled at how horribly unglam I looked/and acted in the video. ARGH SO PAISEH.
HATE STUPID CHINESE. HATE STUPID CHINESE.
I am never ever going act in a video ever again. Will kope the camera woman's job next time.

Damn tired now.
MOS Burger with vic, rach at Parkway for lunch.
The highlight of yesterday was pretty much the fact that I was late for school.
Missed the school bus, took SBS, then as soon as the bunch of us on bus 31 stepped out at the bubble tea bus stop, it began to pour.
Shared my polka-dot umbrella with the girl from 3e8, Sumin, who's really nice. Screamed and ran all the way to school.
My first ever latecomers' booking slip.

Tuesday Night Lights.

Shopped for july babies' presents, literally went round half the island to get everything.

Parkway with the gang, Jie Shi treated us to ice-cream at Swensens since it was her birthday (love you girl!) I haven't eaten the Earthquake in such a long time. Didn't bring my handphone and lost them along the way, so walked around and bought some presents. And I went slightly crazy because I saw so many things I wanted to buy for myself (so much for only buying for others) I AM COMING BACK THERE. TOPSHOP HAS SALE!

Rushed home before running out of the house again and trained to Orchard alone, to look for specific presents. Tsk, the things I do. Parkway isn't really ideal. It's getting boring because everyone buys stuff from there! Almost fell flat on my face when I stumbled over a step outside the MRT station. I LOVE ORCHARD. Haven't been there in ages, and it's still happy bustling at night. Except the garish neon lights suck.

Walked to Wisma, then Shaw Tower, then Far East, then Shaw Tower again, and back to Far East.

BLOODY HELL ISETAN JUST CLOSED AT EXACTLY 9.30 AND I BEGGED THE SECRUITY GAURD TO LET ME IN TO BUY WHAT I HAD TO BUY AND HE REFUSED AND I PLEADED BUT HE STILL REFUSED AND SAID, "GIRL AH THE CASHIERS ALL WENT HOME!'

And then some auntie in the shop yelled at me to come back tomorrow.

So I have to go all the way back, tomorrow.

Amath CA was stupid, and totally wasted. Left the whole bloody graph question blank because I couldn't find the equation, and only after the paper when I tried it again I could figure it out in an instant.

What the hell is wrong with me nowadays. Curse those mental blocks.

Newspaper candy.

I am going to post my birthday wishes.
(most, belated, others, not)

Happy Birthday Jasmine!
Happy Birthday Pei Hua!
Happy Birthday Raseena!
Happy Birthday Amanda!
Happy Birthday Jie Shi!

(: Love you guys many many.



And someone, please start making me give a shit.
Day can only get worse.
Like beth, I did not finish my compo.
I am never going to try to write something like that ever again.

Flea at Clarke Quay.

Candid shots. Rest on fb.

Flea market with Tatty, Rach, Ting yesterday was a refreshingly fresh fun experience.

Got lost (as expected) and we were walking round and round Upper Circular Road until I finally spotted a bunch of obscure shops hidden in some crack at the corner of the street. Rummaged through piles of clothes, got excited whenever we saw a topshop label (we are shallow in the fact that we are so brand-conscious), camwhored with geek specs, sunnies. Zomg I really enjoyed myself! Company was awesome.

Later, Central with tat and rach, Rock Candy at Sticky, Yoshinoya and slacked by the Singpore River. Went to Plaza Sing with rach, Daiso-ed and Spotlight-ed. I accomplished much!

My 4'o'clock curfew for studying totally died and I came back at 9pm.

Been spending my afternoon making birthday cards, and I still have five presents to buy. July babies always come in large numbers.

For a pessimist, I'm pretty optimistic.

Being superstitious, I started worrying over bad omens, and that after that stupid chinese oral, and emath CA, I would suffer the same sad fate for English Oral.
But surpringly, it went pretty well. Damn happy and relieved. Reading, picture and convo revolved around storms, environment, weather. I'm so glad I got that topic.

AND BLOODY EFF TODAY'S CHINESE ORAL TOPIC WAS SO *%@!!?%*#$! EASY SHIT THAT I'M SO EFFING UNLUCKY TO HAVE NOT GOTTEN IT.
I mean like yeah it's over, BUT DAMMIT IT WAS ONE FREAKING DAY LATER. I can't contain my fury. I don't care if I sound like a total sour grape, but arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
I would've been able to rattle on like a machine gun if that had been the topic.
Revised it so in depth and it was so darn easy. UNFAIR WTH.
Pissed off, big-time. (I know it contradicts my above emotions, currently bipolar)
Okay phew.

I'm tired of ranting.

I also realised I do not contain Peripheral Vision, as Mr Michael Corbidge in CAP says everyone must have, because I was unable to see the triangle in 3-D and that it was a right angle, resulting in me leaving the whole ten-mark question blank for emath CA. Trigo sucks, in that way.

Videoworld with Vic and Nat, movie tests, Aqilah is seriously knows her movies.
Drank a whole can of Pokka green tea without getting dizzy for once, YAY.
I have officially cured myself of the pokka green tea allergy.

WHAT THE HECK MAN WE HAVE LIKE FOUR BLOODY CAS NEXT WEEK.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Talk about taking time off to relax.

Recurring thoughts.

Chinese O'level oral was horribly nerve-wracking.
And the question was so stupid, stupid beyond comprehension, because it came out in 2006 and I failed to remember anything I had revised with my mother on that topic.

Translation of topic in English:

blahblah someone said teachers and students can be friends. Give your opinion.
I was stunned.
"EFF EFFING BLOODY OHMYCRAP SHIT ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING" raced through my mind.
Stammered.
Stumbled, fumbled for words.
Paused mid-way.
Hastily stringed up sentences of broken chinese.
Uncompleted sentences, which were left hanging in the air.
Contradicted myself multiple times.

Dammit.
But I guess I'm pretty relieved it's over, though I'm wrecked with much regret and frustration, because I could have done better. It's always that case. I'm not going to exaggerate and say I'm going to flunk, because I still managed to stutter some chinese.

Don't think it turned out as bad as I thought it would, though it was still kinda screwed-up.
Worked so effing hard for the oral and out comes this question which I didn't revise in depth. Guess it all boils down to luck, huh.

Now english oral tomorrow, and my confidence has taken a nasty fall.

I'm starting to really, really hate oral.

If you're not aware, Federer wons his 15th yesterday, at the Wimbledon final.
And as much as it really pains me to say this, Roddick deserved it so much more.

andy roddick was freaking awesome.
He's like one of my favourite players now.
I hope he wins a Slam.

I feel so damn sorry for Andy. Like omgggggg it was so sad that he didn't win!
He played the best tennis ever. Watched from 9pm to 2am last night till my eyes were bloodshot.
That was how long the match lasted.

Sigh.
Now I feel depressed, for the wrong reason.
How ironical life is.

YES SCREAM IT'S FRIDAY.

Bloody Chinese Oral can just screw itself, because we're being tested by CHUNG CHENG and Victoria. Thursday, please don't come.
My English oral has been switched to Wednesday instead, due to a clashing of both orals, and I would have very much preferred a Friday slot but no space. Damn.
On the bright side,

Federer made it to the semis.
Now he has to beat Haas. He just has to. He has to win Wimbledon and beat Andy (either one, whatever). He has to he has to he has to. Everyone's anticipating a Fed-Murray final, me too. I want Federer to trash Murray. Assuming they both get in, and if Murray wins the final, Federer will lose the number two ranking to Murray, and be demoted to number three.
Tell me how ludicrous and inane this possible scenario sounds like.

Katjes Berry Dessert gummies have been very much publicized by Aqilah who buys them everyday. I love koping from her.
Good luck to Aqilah, Atikah, Amaliah, Nad for their higher Malay Oral!
I have also been constantly innundated with corny name jokes, such as:
"Paging for paige!"
"Eh, Paige is on the page!"
Something along those lines.

Love the originality.

Was highly traumatised today, thanks to rachel who outraged my modesty and stupid nat and vic who just stood there laughing at me. Thanks guys.
I found out I was the only one in class who uses a big black scrunchie to tie her hair up.
And apparently, it's outdated and totally out-of-fashion, one of Fashion's DON'TS. Claims by tatty, nat and vic.

WHAT.
Never mind.
I shall take it that they're just jealous I look cute in it.

Hahaha.
I want Subway.

Cheerios.

I have been feeling much happier.
Because school has been truckloads of fun, with awesome people.
And eat-in-class recesses have consisted of much bonding with friends, sharing of food.
We shall have a feast tomorrow.

It's going to rain.
Ominous clouds looming.

Give me a thunderstorm.

Golden daisies of July.

A big thank you to Aqilah the Gila, Risa, and Atikah who made my day, which would have otherwise been very sad.
The mentally unstable nutcases (with the exception of sane Atikah) never fail to torment me, bully me, abuse me and harrass me. Conversing in half Malay, half cheena was the bomb all the time, as well as breaking my arms by pulling them back whenever I stretch them out behind me.

"I use Asians shampoo 'cos I'm Asian."
"But you're a Malay!"

So now any stupid blondish moment comment or remark has been declared to be met with,
"You just pulled a Paige!"

I love these people. My lovely lovely table people.