Happenstance.

you say goodbye and I say hello

2010-04-30T21:07:00.000-07:00

The immense fragility of life just scares me sometimes.
What if the world really ends in 2012?

Some holiday.

2010-03-15T07:26:00.000-07:00

I have been extremely unproductive so far. And it's only been three days.

Not going to let homework compromise my watching of movies.
Speaking of which, I think I'm willing to forgo Alice + Up In The Air for Lovely Bones + When in Rome (it took me a long time to come to such a decision because I really wanted to watch Up in the air!) or just maybe, this holiday will be my last indulgence in all things watchable.

I feel blue.
Monday blues!
Had probably the most painful injection I'll ever have in my life today.
Never, ever want to go through it again.

Yeah okay this blog feels so mundane and lame and languid and whatever.
I'll spice it up after the o's! For now, it's just lamentations :(

Maybe if my heart stops beating;

2010-03-09T05:08:00.000-08:00

OMG PEOPLE LIKE ACTUALLY STILL READ THIS BLOG!??!

Now I feel...embarrassed.

Anyway (:

Paramore would have = Awesome - mosh pit with crazy crowd + small size paramore tee (but large gives the cool baggy look whatever thing)

Anyone get it?
Well I've calmed down considerably after the whole episode of me being pissed cos I wished I had gotten seating BUT HECK I GOT TO SEE PARAMORE SO WHAT THE HECK AM I DOING COMPLAINING?
I offically have a girl crush on Hayley.

So now I'm pretty much stuck in the post-concert-daze where all I can think about is paramore and stalk their site and see paramore tees and posters on ebay (yes I have two but I still can't get enough, am I hardcore or what, thinking of buying another, will probably regret) and read their wiki a thousand times and read hayley's twitter yes I am one obsessed fan.

And there's O-LEVEL SPA tomorrow.
Hopefully Looking Up won't be in my head while I'm dropping droplets (?!) into the testube. If- it is similiar to the mock spa.
ARGH HATE SPA SPA SPA.

BACK FROM THE DEAD.

2010-02-20T02:31:00.000-08:00

I have revived this dead blog.

hallelujah.
Life hasn't been too bad, school's still alright with recess being the most awesome.
What's up:

1) Glee and more glee (I'M GONNA FINALLY FINISH EPISODE 13 THIS WEEKEND)

2) For some reason I have become very cynical recently.
Random note- people who talk about their boyfriends incessantly are annoying. Very annoying.

3) Thinking Day at the indoor stadium today was spent playing some slide game on Athena's itouch and sleeping

4) Broke my amath curse. PASSED BY 1.5 MARKS. Happiest day of my life.

5) I HAVE TO STOP AT FIVE. Evidence of why this blog's so dead- too little action happening.

Toodles.

2010-01-13T07:15:00.001-08:00

Someone tell me, how the hell I am going to get through the entire year.

All we know is falling.

2010-01-12T04:28:00.001-08:00

I hardly have any time of my own nowadays.
Everyone seems really busy too, (judging from the sad states of their blogs)
Well, I got off to possibly the worst start in the whole of my four years here (ironically, it is the last year but yes)
I feel kinda amused by myself, because I feel so rebellious but yet not an inch of remorse has consumed me.
Got booked today for eating in class, by zaine. I think I will be on his permanent blacklist for the rest of the year. Now I wince at the sight of poker cards (but after considerate deliberation still join in the bridging, I'm taking so many risks and it's just cards like wth but once bitten twice shy, I can't afford to get into trouble again.)
This is the first time I've been booked twice in a month. Woah. I've never even gotten more than three bookings in a year. And this time, none of them are nametag-offences! Shit shit shit shit.

Got punished by adela chee today, had to STAND ON THE CHAIR for almost the entire period. YES. As I was the only one who didn't do a single bit of holiday homework and yesterday's assigned homework, hence was the only one who had to stand on the chair.
A first for me. Who ever ever gets such a rare punishment? I'm going to take this in my stride, and I'm not the least bit humilated. It's my fault anyway. The view from the top was kinda nice actually.

Let's hope the week ends soon.
Really, really soon.

Origami

2010-01-09T00:32:00.000-08:00

The smooth crisp of new paper
Sharp, sleek, like new suits on sale

We scramble for the pieces
Bright bold hues calling
A myriad of colours clutter the table
A draft, and they

Flutter

Fold here and there
In half, then into perfect angular quarters
Again and again
Symmetry’s key

Imprinted crinkles
Like meandering distributaries
Cut the lines between
From clean to weatherworn like an old pair of shoes
The paper’s stained with creases of time

When bored, write senseless poems.

Things we forget.

2010-01-08T23:57:00.000-08:00

FIRST WEEK OF SCHOOL IS OVER.
And boy am I glad.
To sum it up-

first day: cards confiscated
second day: was personally scolded by mr zaine for playing cards until I cried.
third day: lost report book (found)
fourth day: left wallet in school bus (got it back already)
fifth day: had the worst ever flu and nearly fainted in school/almost got knocked by a bicycle on the way to the bus stop

Why do I feel like I don't have a life nowadays?
School really sucks.
Grrrr.

First day!

2010-01-04T03:02:00.000-08:00

Came to school super hyper and crazy, I just love first days because they're so full of screaming and hugging and everyone looks so cheery after reuniting with everyone else. Talked until my mouth became painful during assembly and Mr Peh actually told me to talk less and not laugh so loudly (two things I actually do) so as to not strain the muscle on my face. I don't know whether that's true, but anyway. He looks to be a promising form teacher.

During recess: rachel's cards got confiscated by Mrs Sim- an ominous sign for future bridging sessions.

Orientation for sec one was quite alright, 1/6's friendly in the sense that at least some bothered to utter back sentences in response to my questions and also ask me others today, they seem to be a lively bunch! Yay.

Tomorrow will be another slack one before the real grilling starts. Will enjoy it while I can.

Last of late nights

2010-01-02T07:00:00.000-08:00

It kinda sucks that tonight's the last night of freedom before school starts. But I'm actually really glad that I ditched homework for 7 hours of impulsive fun.
Flea at spore flyer, prank calls, caramel frappe. Thank you vic and nat, really enjoyed myself, the thought of school just makes me feel like puking. EFFING HOMEWORK. Still not done, will never be done.

I feel like chopping my hair off.

New Year's Resolutions :

1) Mug ass off
2) Put social life on hold
3) Mug ass off
4) Mug ass off

Thank you 2009.

2009-12-31T00:45:00.000-08:00

I'm still trying to desperately convince myself that 2009's not ending, but oh well it's not really working. Can't freaking believe today is new year's eve, it's so unbelievable how crazily fast 2009 went, from what I remember this was probably the year that literally flew by, the fastest. Time always marches on inexorably- before you know it, the year ends and a new year comes, brimming with so many new prospects while the past is so quickly left behind to be replaced by memories. I always feel so sentimental when a year ends, and in this case a decade.
LIKE WOAH.

In retrospect, 2009 was an amazing year, it was one of the years where I had the most ever fun, it was the year full of drama, full of action, full of everything. I still vaguely recall karen's words in sec 2 "When you're in sec 3 everything happens" okay something roughly along those lines. I really had the bestest time in 2009, starting off with a whole group of awesome people - Natasha, Rachel, Victoria, Tat Huey, Tessa, Aqilah, Risa, Ruo Xi, Amanda and Yiting, 3e2 would honestly, suck to the core without you all. You guys are the funnest bunch I've ever met and we seriously kick ass together. Movie quizzes intense bridge sessions doing stupid things charades during free periods talking crap going out like nobody's business fleas and whatnot! From aboslutely abhoring 3e2 to loving it it was great making so many new friends, the rest of the class is otherwise also full of more amazing people but maybe I've yet to know all on a personal basis but a new year brings so many things, doesn't it? (:

1e3/23 people, thank you to all those who've stuck by me, yes it was inevitable drifting away sine we were all put away in different classes but still- thank you mainly Theresa, Angelyn, Karen, Raseena, Denise, Isa-belle, Wei Sze, Beth, do hope we can still continue to interact on a regular basis because you guys are really really just wonderful lovely people. And my awesomest guide bunch- Jerry, Athena, Jasmine, Jie Shi, Renuga I love all of you for always being such lame retards and jokers.

Rebecca, being in different schools is seriously so crap but thank you, it's really comforting that we still keep in touch despite the hectic schedule of both our lives, phone calls really make me feel like I'm still a pat of your life in someway or another. Thank you for possibly 7 years of friendship, you've been just great(:
Lastly, to crystle- You've been such a rock that I don't know what I'd ever do without you, if I had to type out everything you've done for me it would probably span 2032039398 pages but still, thank you for being my best friend.

Though my grades slipped in 2009 (oh dear god math/amath) but I know I have to work immensely hard next year, and I will do that! 2009 taught me so many invaluable things and this may sound weird but I really found myself again in 2009, found out so many things about myself and others I didn't existed and I'll work to become a better person. Sounds sooooooo cliche but yes!

It's kinda early, but Happy New Year everyone!

2009-12-29T01:31:00.001-08:00

homework is an effing chore.

2009-12-25T20:38:00.000-08:00

a.k.a best christmas movies ever ever ever ever.
You can't get any better romantic comedy than Bridget Jones Diary, it's so good.

FORGOT TO MENTION-

In brief: Watched Sherlock Holmes with theresa on xmas eve, it was such a bloody good show that I was left a little speechless after it all ended, was so engrossed and my eyes were fixated to the screen the whole time ( a little too much action, though) Cast were awesome in their roles, robert downey junior was really outstanding as sherlock holmes.

<333333333333

because it's christmas

2009-12-24T22:40:00.000-08:00

Annual christmas eve party at auntie sau ling's house, decorated cookies with icing, cheat, taboo and whatnot with the boys. I love going for midnight mass at holy family, the choir's just beautiful, loved singing all the hymns. Christmas really makes me so happy, there's just something so magical about it- just spending time with your friends and family is probably the best thing anyone could ever yearn for.

Unwrapped presents at 3 am, got an AMAZINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG new camera (Canon IXUS, and it's in baby blue - SCREAMS LIKE MAD CHICKEN) from mom and dad which was a total total surprise because they lied saying they didn't buy me that and nothing under the tree looked like one (they wanted it to be a surprise but knew I usually get them easily) so they gave me the worms world party cd (I love that game period; don't ask) and I was ecstatic but went bonkers when they brought the camera out halfway from their room (it wasn't under the tree after all) So now my old camera with the fungi/snowflake crack has been passed down to ryan. And $120 (OMGGGGGGG) paper market vouchers from Auntie Sau Ling will fund my scrapbooking needs for the rest of the year. Loved the nail polish kit from my brothers to bits too, my mom actually chose it while they paid but the colours were oh-so-pastel pretty!

oh oh and THANK YOU treeza and amanda for the presents! ZOMG I LOVE THEM.

It's the best christmas ever. It really is. Everyone sitting down opening presents in the middle of the morning was just incredibly heartwarming.

Christmas does do wonders, doesn't it?

Merry christmas everyone.

ice.

2009-12-23T07:45:00.000-08:00

Yesterday in a nutshell:

Met up with rach dearest for a while at night at 313@somerset, Forever 21 is HUGE and I think it's the best outlet among the three by far, but hardly anything there appealed to me anyway. I've never really liked the stuff from forever 21, they do have a couple of nice clothes but most of the time they're a cross between This Fashion and some ahlian shops in Far East. Some of the prints were so outrageously gaudy that sometimes I wonder why people even love patronising the shop so much.

Marvellous cream has opened in 313, the minute I stepped into it the sweet smothering smell of chessecake mixed with ice cream and the sinful heavy cocoa smell filled my nostrils and it was such a heavenly smell zomg. Ate there once, best ice-cream ever ever. And I'm never ever going back to Orchard Road at night ever again, nearly got squashed/trampled to death in the underpass, hoards of people brisk-walking and brushing past me like I was a non-existant being, half the time I was so afraid someone would accidentally smack my swollen face. But despite the crowds, you can't not to go orchard road during christmas.
There's just something about the haphazard hurried banter of shoppers streaming in and out melding with the crisp soulful voices of caroling, and the flickering colours of christmas lights and decorations spangling the dark solid abyss of night sky an etheral sight - it's just great to soak up the christmas atmosphere, this festive season is really beautiful in its own way. Everyone looks so, so happy.

That is so not a nutshell.

MY FOOD PROBATION IS OVER TOMORROW, HELLO TO CHICKEN AND BEEF AND ALL THINGS NICE LIKE ICE-CREAM- just in time for xmas eve. This is just wonderful.

Had lunch with Nat at Parkway today, before heading off to school to pass my mc to the seniors for not attending camp. Turned out they were having Amazing Race so I sat with Manuella at the fountain and talked, later met up with the rest of them at school, Renuga got so traumatised at my scars and kept squirming and shrieking like I was a mutant, but it was great to see that loser again. Camp seemed horrible from what jas, athena and jie shi described, but I feel a little guilty/sad at having missed the last guides camp of my last sceondary school life, I mean I couldn't help it because I still hadn't fully recovered but I do wish I could have gone, despite all the torture.

Oh well.

And we'll collect the moments one by one;

2009-12-21T06:49:00.000-08:00

Today was exhuasting, rushed to school at 10am having had only six hours of sleep for OGL meeting, I'm having second doubts and feeling a tad skeptical about guiding the sec ones or whatever. I have no idea why I was so enthusiastic on being an OGL from the start. Now it seems so...tedious.

After, out with vic and nat, spent money at Paper Market again, that place is just so awesome and so far I've splurged over a freaking HUNDRED dollars on stickers, papers, adhesive buttons and whatnot (my savings have now dried up to a pathetic pulp, I am screwed for the rest of next year) Then when I came home overwhelming pangs of guilt just shot through me relentlessly and I think I'm really too impetuous sometimes. This is so not the right time to unlease my innner scrapbooking passion. It takes me hours just to make anything, be it a collage or a card. Time is of the essence! Vic and Nat brought me to this obscure whimsical shop at Bras Basah, I love love love it, it has this old-school lingering charm, and they sell amazing gorgeous lomography stickers and pictures/photos printed on postcards. And other incredibly quirky stuff, like tote bags and vintage necklaces, there's a cafe inside too where you can chill out at. I love hidden exclusive haunts like this, it's always great to find hidden gems in such unexpected places. Shopped around Raffles City, fnally completed my xmas shopping! This year's budget was a little tight (due to wild inconsiderate spending on myself) but I really hope the whole family likes what I got them.

Later Vic and me decided to be crazy people and travelled all the way to great world city (like who even goes there nowadays?!) for some yoghurt she claimed was the best thing ever. I wouldn't say it was worth the trip, but it was really good, like ice-cream chefs yoghurt style. Fruzen Yoghurt at white sands is still my number one yoghurt parlour. FYI ICE CREAM CHEFS IS SO OVERRATED. Argh. It just sucks that everyone's literally fawning over the whole place, it was so much more cool when it just opened and was relatively unknown. I still like it though, just that the whole exclusivity has diminished. (yes, me and exclusivity, I just like places with good food/good ambience which have yet to be exposed to the entire world, sometimes it just feels nice knowing something that people don't, like a really good secret) And actually, cold rock creamery and pasticream sells even nicer ice-cream with mix-ins (though very very pricey)

BRITTANY MURPHY IS DEAD.
Read becca's blog, some teeny sentence abotu R.I.P Brittany Murphy and got the bigeest shock of my life. I'm still in disbelief right now, she was so young. The fragility of life.
THE CREEPIEST THING EVER is that Vic and I were just discussing animatedly about her right on this Monday afternoon, and testing each other on the movies she acted in, and Vic even mentioned she was her favourite actress. LIKE SERIOUSLY SUCH A COINCIDENCE. Imagine our absolute horror on finding out about her death only tonight, when we had just discussed about her a few hours ago. She had been alive in our minds, back then.

Way freaky. Brittany Murphy movie marathon in honour of her death is on the cards.

Honestly, can you believe we crossed the world while its asleep?

2009-12-19T04:41:00.001-08:00

in your message you said, you were going to bed
but I'm not done with the night.
so I stayed up and read, but your words in my head got
me mixed up so I turned out the light.

and I, don’t know how, to slow it down.
my mind’s racing from chasing pirates.

Take me away to nowhere plains

2009-12-16T02:26:00.001-08:00

Take note, everyone: If someone gives me a bunch of bright colourful balloons on my birthday in school next year, I will scream and hug her. Really. I fail when it comes to subtle hints.

I just have this strange balloon fetish. Love balloons.

A wild present hunt around Orchard with crystle yesterday (yes ISA-BELLE no prizes for guessing whose present we were looking for haha) turned into me spending a lot of unecessary money on myself and returning home with an empty wallet. 313@somerset is sweet, maybe because of the novelty of a new shopping mall, but I think the design of the mall is really innovative and different. I like Ribbons, Theresa! Did a lot of walking, let's just say it was all HMV's fault. From 313 to heeren to 313 again and then citylink mall. Sheesh.

Was inexcusably late in meeting jerry and jas at white sands, oh dear I need to make conquering latecoming one of my new year's resolutions. I AM ALWAYS LATE FOR EVERYTHING. On rare occasions when I know the person I'm meeting is especally intolerable of people being late, I'll be just on time. It's horrible I know, but people who know me well usually forgive me on this shortcoming. The only thing I'm on time for is school. How sad is that. And movies. I'm never, ever late for a movie.

The new yoghurt parlour at white sands is so uber cool. The idea of mixing your own yoghurt and toppings and you pay the whole thing by weight is the most ingenius thing ever invented in the history of ingenius things. And the yoghurt's sooooooo good. I'm going back there every week. Sec four farewell was as usual, boring and a waste of time. I'm sure it's cursed because of some recurring jinx, every year it rains on the day of the barbeque. The damn fire kept going off and in the end we all just burned paper as charcoal substitution (which I might add, was very effective in cooking the food).

I need to stop going out! There's still so much to do. And there's Guides camp on 22-23, it's just a pathetic day camp and I CANNOT COMPREHEND WHY THEY ARE STILL SO HELL-BENT ON TORTURING THE CRAP OUTTA US. It was cancelled in June due to H1N1 (life saver, is that ironic?) and they're still so adamant on having it. Actually I shouldn't be complaning because I, obviously, due to my physical state will no way be fit for camp and I should be able to give some excuse letter to excuse myself from all strenous activities (which is, like everything!) but I think I should still show up for obligation and responsibility's sake. And sit in school and do nothing while everyone suffers. Muahahahaha.

Study/homework dates with friends are never productive.

2009-12-12T06:25:00.000-08:00

After Vic decidedly abandoned us for her godma who just came back from america, met nat at BigSplash Starbucks in a very impulsive last-minute thing to complete homework in the evening. Love the starbucks there, it's definitely one of the more study-conducive ones around (not like we did much anyway) And it's so big and cosy! I accomplished close to nothing, save for 10 MCQ bio questions. Laughed and laughed and laughed. Love you nat! Studying with friends so does not work for me. Walked to KFC, played truth and dare which was bloody retarded. Then walked all the way to Parkway (and it wasn't really lighted all the way!), I was super scared that we were going to get kidnapped. I am way too paranoid.

I HAVE YET TO COMPLETE ALL MY XMAS CARDS OH SHITTT. And christmas shopping has yet to be completed! Time is of the essence.

Wintersong.

2009-12-11T08:20:00.000-08:00

New phone call record: 3-hour-8-minute-and-14-second phone call with nat last night all the way until 2am. My insomnia problem is getting way out of hand. At this rate I won't be able to sleep at all.

Helped film the opening of the sec four farewell video today (DAMN CAN'T WAIT FOR THIS THING TO BE OVER), then I hurried down to parkway to get art supplies from popular and went on a crazed spree and spent all my money on mindless things. Christmas is coming and I don't really know what I want, but I wouldn't mind:

1) A new camera
(I got one for xmas last year but the quality is seriously bad, whatwith the cracked snowflake-like thing on my screen and the fact that the macro isn't very sharp)
2) canon photo selphy printer (but actually printing it at the photoshop would be cheaper yes)
3) scrapbooking emboss machine

I LOVE LOVE LOVE SURPRISES. So I really don't want it to be the case where I tell my parents what I want, because then it wouldn't be a surprise anymore! But I guess if I don't get any of them that wouldn't matter, because it's always the thought that counts. Anyway I just love the festive spirit of christmas, that's the whole point of it.

(:

Because life's just amazing in some way.

2009-12-10T04:14:00.000-08:00

Caught up with jas, jerry and jie shi today at jerry's house, made sec four farewell invites and I am so totally going to buy the $100 dollar scrapbooking emboss machine which her aunt has(I WILL DO IT FOR THE SAKE OF ART!) I am on an inspired mission to start making gorgeous cards for people's birthdays and any other occasions. Today was awesome in every single way, laughed and laughed until my whole mouth was aching like shit and I nearly laughed until I cried, talked and talked and talked. Got yelled at on the phone by someone who shall not be identified ("WHAT PAGE! WHAT PAGE! WHO'S PAIGE!"), being swaddled in piles of coloured paper which cluttered the entire room, me and jie shi fighting over the emboss machine. I really missed those guys so much, guides will never ever the same without them. It's only after not going out for so long that I finally realised how much I miss everyone, it was just so great to have fun with them all over again. I'm going to try my best not to care how I look anymore (a few months looking like a chubby-faced parrot isn't too bad) because life's just too awesome to sit around and mope and whine. I'm going to live every single day the best that I can. It's inconceivable what one operation can do to you, it actually made me appreciate life much more.

Thank god for life, for everything. A kickass-awesome family, tons of awesome friends whom make secondary school life the best times ever, and now that the op's over, I'm so, so relieved.

Cabbed to Parkway and by golly within two weeks the place has changed in some inconspicuous way, I don't see anything really different but I can feel that something is different. Maybe because I can now see Toby's Desert Asylum on the second floor, they must have hacked away something so now the purple sign's protruding out of somewhere.

Got to go finish all homework asap. Ahhhhhhhhh.

Oh, reckless abandon, like no one's watching you-

2009-12-09T01:25:00.000-08:00

I'm officially allowed to go out! Though lots of rest is still imperative. I actually think that in spite of all my desperation to be let out, staying at home is still, sadly, the best for me. Will be buried in piles of homework. Spent the entire morning painstakingly writing christmas cards to all the special people in the world, and each one sounds more like a letter. This year's record: TWENTEE-FIVEEEEE. If I had more time I would definitely design all of them myself (every year it's a tradition for me to design one card) I just love making cards. Urbanwrite at orchard central has this card making kit that I really want, the art-scrapbooking-paper section is just amazing amazing amazing and I could spend all my money there.

Going to jerry's house tomorrow with jie shi to make the sec 4 farewell invitations. I miss guides. A lot.

My life's actually so boring that I have nothing more to comment on. Oh dear. This is what happens when you're trapped in your house for two weeks.

BTW I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE PRIVATE LIVES OF PIPPA LEE IS M18 THIS IS SO DAMN PISSING OFF WHAT THE HELL MAN.

You'll have to cry me out;

2009-12-05T03:23:00.000-08:00

I am this close to shooting myself if I don't go out of the house.
This convalescent period is going to be harder than I thought.
Feel like a prisoner incarcerated in my own home.
I really miss going out with so many people, and there are some that I haven't even gotten the chance to go out with yet! And I missed An Education (which I read from reviews was a superb movie) and Fantastic Mr Fox. New Moon can go to hell for all I care. I really cannot comprehend why everyone's so manic over a lousy movie.

The only good thing that came out of everything:
fish + fruits everyday has caused me to shed 3 kg (every cloud does have a silver lining after all hahahaha) But being good-food deprived is just torturous, having an op cancels out a diet of virtually anything nice-tasting. I would give the world to taste chicken right now.

I have concluded that if I do not start on tys now, I'll probably have a mega freak-out moment a week before school and tear my hair out. Being "sick" gives me even more unwilling reason to get started on things since I cannot go out with friends. But somehow I can't bring myself to do anything, and this is actually a big cause for concern. Motivation is needed!

PS: I am addicted to worms world party. Anyone play that game before? I sound like a moron but the computer game keeps me for hours on end.

And I just realised I actually hate going online. I can spend hours on the com everyday but I never bother to sign in. I don't really like chatting on msn because I find it so impersonal, so robotic and emotionless? I'm weird I know. I mean, wouldn't a phone call be so much better? I love hearing people's voices muffled on the line, even if there's static or the buzz sound at times it comforts me that there's always someone there for you on the other end. Hearing their voice is just as good as talking to them face to face (of course the real thing is better) I guess for msn it's the same thing, but sometimes the words in the convo feel so...foreign. Like anyone could have typed them.

I love phone calls.

Maybe we all just need something to hold on to.

2009-12-03T06:12:00.000-08:00

Is it possible to feel stressed in the holidays?
Freaked out big time after realising how much homework there actually was, I was on the verge of ripping both the amath and math tys into teeny shreds and dumping them in a fire.
THE AMOUNT OF HOMEWORK IS RIDICULOUS.

The best part- I'm still slacking my butt off.
After all the panic, sat down and watched tv the entire day. Going to finish season four of criminal minds online!(:
Holiday mood still lingering, and will be for a long time.
shitshitshitshit. Where's discipline when you need it!

Despite looking like I have an orange stuck in my mouth, I really miss going out with people.
I will never be able to survive if I am ever grounded.
Thank goodness I have never experienced that.

Okay short post. Project runway now(:

Blue December.

2009-12-03T02:17:00.000-08:00

I love December.

And christmas.

And happy people.

2009-12-01T03:03:00.000-08:00

2009-11-30T03:47:00.000-08:00

"When the dead are done with the living, " Franny said to me,
"the living can go on to other things."
"What about the dead?" I asked. "Where do we go?"
She wouldn't answer me.

the lovely bones, alice sebold.

I've not suddenly become mildly obsessed with death or something, just really liked this paragraph.

It's good to be home.

2009-11-29T01:18:00.000-08:00

I HAVE BEEN DISCHARGED.

Omg I cannot convey my happiness, so bloody ecstatic. After 6 days of hell in tan tock seng, I'm finally out of the place. Never ever want to stay in a ward ever again. Phew. Let me elaborate in whine-form:

1) Was suffering in discomfort the whole time, I hate the very thick pillows on the bed which are as hard as rock (PILLOWS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE FLUFFY!) and my head slipped off them half the time. Those stupid pillows gave me headaches and neckaches. And the fact that I can't really walk well makes getting out of bed a tad difficult, so essentially I felt like I was chained to the bed the whole time.

2) All those sleepless nights were also due to the constant waking up at 2am to take medicine - last night I experienced that surreal subconscious state just when you're about to drift off to sleep (usually after staring wide-eyed at the ceiling for hours you suddenly blank and poof!) but this time I really felt my eyes beginning to shut and my mind swirling, AND JUST AT THIS MOMENT WHEN I WAS ABOUT TO FALL INTO DEEP SLEEP-
(someone taps me)

"Girl, take your antibiotics now, okay?"

Grrr. And I couldn't sleep for another one hour.

2) This may put off many people- this poor old lady in my ward who couldn't walk had to excrete (I'm trying to sound not crude here) literally in her bed (she used some device called a bedpan) Okay I can't bear to say more but since my bed was just beside hers, and the fact that I was confined there too, I had to endure half an hour in air-con (I repeat, AIR CON = rapid diffusion of smell) with noxious fumes lingering that nearly killed me. The smell was really, UNTOLERABLE. I had to stuff tissues in my nose.

3) No cable = no life. Yes my whole life revolves on cable and channel 5, 8 is so not appealing. Luckily internet on the third day saved me from impending boredom. And gossip girl/criminal minds on portable dvd was my solace.

4) I will puke my guts out if I ever I have to eat fish again (which I do actually, for two weeks for nutrient intake) and I literally ate fish for three meals everyday, until I resorted to eating wholemeal bread for some release.

but the nurses were incredibly, incredibly nice, some of them were really so sweet and caring that it really inspired me. Who knows? I might become a nurse someday.

I MISS EVERYONE LIKE CRAZY!
It sucks that my social life will have to disintegrate into scraps of crap since I have to stay at home to recuperate, but I'm guess I can no longer ignore the very conspicuous pile of homework on my tabe (which I keep casting furtive glances at but have absolutely no mood to start on) HOW THE HECK AM I GOING TO FINISH AMATH TYS?! I haven't even started on any chapter. But I guess I have to.
And I know not many people are very aware of the magnitude of the op, just to ensure nobody gets the shock of their life when they see me in school- I really look bad. really. I'll elaborate on this another time. Till then! Can't spend too much time on the net because I get disorinetated/giddy after long periods of time, cos my face's so inbalanced right now.

I hate the hospital.

2009-11-27T02:08:00.001-08:00

Hello everyone!

Still in hospital and am using my dad's laptop for the time being. I can finally walk though there's still a sharp pain in my thigh where they took the muscle out, and my face's as swollen as a balloon. It's painful but I'm gonna be discharged soon!(: Life's been crap the first few days (very groggy and dizzy, sorry for not replying everyone's smses) but just to let everyone know I've replied all the really nice tags on my tagboard.

A really big thank you to crystle, rebecca, theresa, rasee, kim lee, isa, manda, beth, saiybah, den, hanisa, vicky, nat, victoria, sophie, emmanuelle, tat, rachel, athena, jerry, jasmine, jie shi and I hope I didn't miss anyone out but yes I love all you guys! Sorry if I left any names out but I just hope you guys know how much it means to me.

Cya soon(:

2009-11-23T06:08:00.000-08:00

Okay so just to inform everyone, my operation's tomorrow morning.
Basically it's a muscle transplant, they're gonna take a muscle from my thigh and insert it into the left side of my face. I already had the nerve transplant last year, but without a muscle a nerve can't work, so yes gotta go for this op. This time's gonna be quite major, might have to stay in hospital for a few days, and the rest of the year will be spent recuperating at home. Won't be able to walk for some time, and it'll take approximately a year at the most for my whole face to swell down. My left side will be swollen due to the muscle transplanted, it'll take many months for it to shrink.

I don't really know how I feel right now, scared; anxious; nervous. Maybe it's a combination of all these emotions, but criminal minds for the past fifteen hours on the net has kept my mind occupied from thinking about the op. Truth is, I'm afraid of so many things - the final moments before the surgery are indeed always the most nerve-wracking ones, I hope I'll manage to remain calm and composed like last year which wasn't too bad. But I guess this time isn't really the same.

I'm afraid that what I'll look like after I recover fully won't meet my expectations. I can't expect for a totally perfect face, the only thing the op's gonna do is make my smile more symmetrical; when the right side moves the left side will automatically move too, but I don't know. I'm afraid I still won't be happy.

But regardless, I want to thank everyone for their utmost concern and well-wishes, they mean the world to me, they really do. Thank you all so, so much. (: I keep crying whenever I think of everyone's concern. Love you all.

I know everyone accepts me for who I am, regardless of how I look, but I need to learn to accept myself first. And I've never been able to do that. So hopefully the op will be for the better. I guess Bell's Palsy isn't a big deal compared to other people. There are tons more people out there who are so much less fortunate than me , and I know I should be so thankful for what I already have. But sometimes it just takes a toll on me. Maybe not many people know this, but I have a huge inferiority complex, I just don't show it. I try to be friendly to everyone, but the truth is, on meeting new people, I'm always so afraid they'll judge me before they even get to know me. First impressions are always important. The only thing I have left is personality.

I don't know why I just bared half my soul in this very public blog, but yeah maybe it's pre op nerves. I feel a little better now actually! Hahaha. Got the entire season two of gossip girl to entertain me during my hospital stay, borrowed my neighbour's portable dvd player, YAY! I'll probably die without criminal minds and the internet (OH GOODNESS FACEBOOK!) but I just bought The Lovely Bones, and I'm really looking forward to reading that book. Can't wait to catch the movie, the trailer looks amazing.

The nerves will probably come back to haunt me later. Looks like it's gonna be a sleepless night.

(: Bye guys, cya soon.

Gonna button my lip so the truth don't slip

2009-11-22T02:50:00.000-08:00

I'M BACK!

Very short trip to KL, but it was still tons of fun - catching up with tk, rob and douglas, miss those idiots. Played with baby emma carolina, isn't her name just beautiful? And yes I'm an auntie! Finally another girl in the family, me and cousin Lilian won't have to be the only two out of seven boys. I never liked babies but Emma's just so cute and chubby that I'll make her the exception. Cousin Peng Swee's wedding was a whirlwind, me and doug were the ushers but failed miserably at directing guests to their tables, apparently everyone knew how to find their way which made our jobs pretty useless. The wedding was really lavish -the entire ballroom was decorated so elaborately that I became all swaku and was in awe of everything. Played truth or dare with tk at the table, bloody hilarious, heard 2/3 of an R-rated joke from my uncle, I have to turn 18 until I can hear the last part, found out my other 25-year-old uncle has incredibly amazing movie knowledge, he posed some very difficult questions that stumped me! Caught 500 days of summer in the hotel (AGAIN), I still love it it just posseses this understated charm, it's so unpretentious and it really shows love for what it really is. I caught Hannah Montana the movie too! But it was quite cheesy/stupid/kiddy and was a COMPLETE letdown. I can't believe I was so desperate to watch it.

Yes this post may be very confusing because it's so brief but whatever.

Btw.

thank you jas, jerry, jie shi, athena and gay for the card!
thank you guys I love you all! (:

If you all ever see this, I just want to let all of you know how much I appreciate it. You have no idea how much it meant to me. I was so touched that when I read the card, I started crying. Haha yes I'm so dramatic and emotional. But really! Miss you guys like fjdksjfkdajfdlkjfkdsjfksjdfkjskfskdfjdskjfs. When I'm all okay we'll go on a bridge marathon okay!(:

You guys are the bestest festest. Love you all<3

Another freefall.

2009-11-19T05:05:00.001-08:00

The Blue Mansion was WICKED.
I proclaim it and Coraline the two best movies I've seen so far in the entire year.
Who knew local productions could actually be competent?
Manda and I sneaked into it yesterday, bought tickets for Astro Boy (thank goodness we weren't stuck watching that) then creeped into the other hall.
The Blue Mansion's really artsy and theatrical, the set design was stunning! It was definitely something different from the normal mainstream movies. The whole cluedo who-dun-it scenario was engaging, yet there was a lot of comic relief and I must say, Adrian Pang and the rest of the cast did a great job. It's a pity it wasn't publicised widely, not many people pay attention to local productions (besides those ridiculous Jack Neo ones), I'm so glad I caught it.

Singapore Idol after that was actually, super cool. Waited for so bloody long before we could enter the studio, but my initial reluctance and constant grumbles sooned turned into fascination and wide-eyed stares when I entered the studio. I get starstruck really easily, even in front of the lamest so-called celebrities, basically I get super excited whenever I see any figure from the media. So there I was, literally gawking at the three judges as they took their seats, and the best part was that me and manda were right at the front in the mosh pit, so we had an amazing view of everything. It's really super cool to be there LIVE, you get to see how the whole show is run, during the ads the whole audience is like, lackadaisical and weary, but as soon as the cameras begin to roll - "we're going LIVE in one minute everyone! Now I want all you guys to scream and bring the house down"; the tv man quickly begins fingering the "3, 2, 1" signal, and boom, everyone perks up and flings their hands wildy in the air, animatedly waving at the camera the second it falls on them. When a few minutes ago we were actually all a bunch of pretty liveless corspes.

All for show.

Sent Nat off at the airport with vic today, I'm really gonna miss her oh man. Doctor's appointment later, then after a huge thunderstorm erupted, rain was pouring down, like a billion fountains all over the world spewing out water simultaneously, it was so heavy I seriously thought it would never subside. The whole void deck was flooded. Mrteed to Vivo when the rain wasn't too bad, met tat and gave her her belated birthday present! I'm so glad she likes it.

Going off to KL tomorrow to attend my cousin's wedding, will be back on sunday!
Till then this blog will be dead.

2009-11-18T06:58:00.000-08:00

I AM SO OBSESSED WITH CRIMINAL MINDS.

MOST AWESOME SHOW EVER CREATED.

Been watching the dvd diligently every night.

The whole team is soooooooooo freaking awesome. I don't know any other word to describe how awesome it is.

Spencer Reid <3

Goodbye, CSI.

Vivocity.

2009-11-16T23:02:00.000-08:00

Other pics on facebooooooook.

Yesterday's weather was gorgeous, swirling clouds enveloping grey sky, and then a slight drizzle. Just beautiful. I really love going to the beach or outdoors in such weather, it's strange because people usually yearn for a sunny blue day but I'm different. I just really enjoy gloomy miserable weather, perfect for pensiveness, and on contrary, it makes me feel so happy. Love Happens with tessa and vic, movie wasn't that great, honestly I don't get why they even call it Love Happens, because 70% involved other crap while 30% was the love occurrence. Went to the rooftop and waded in the pool, (can you believe I have never been there before?) had so much fun there. Tried doing very unsuccessful model poses, ended up looking like idiots.

Met Nat at Bedok Interchange today to pass her present to her! Had to rush through her card because I was late, bathed in a record time of three minutes and rushed out of the house looking a real sight, with tangled hair and my shirt not pulled down properly, whilst trying to balance a huge box with my wallet on top. Finally gave her her present, really glad that she liked it. Taking a break today, not going out. I am very tired. I seem to be tired everyday! Today's activity will consist of snuggling comfortably on my couch watching Criminal Minds and going for tuition at night. Then tomorrow is gonna be a hell of a day, gonna go to school in the morning for guides to help the juniors, then afternoon outing with amanda and singapore idol at night. Woahhhhh.

And I know that we can be so amazing;

2009-11-14T02:54:00.000-08:00

I've suddenly come down with a terrible bout of wheezing, and the doctor says it might be short-term asthma (I do have a history of it) or just an infection. Mom got all afraid because my op would have to be postponed if I don't recover, but hopefully I do or else I'll just cry. So I can't eat yoghurt (I'm really suffering without it), citrus fruits or bascially all the things I love to eat. I can't even drink milo.

Coraline with treeza and ange yesterday, best movie I've seen in the entire year. Saw a 3D movie for the first time since Spy kids 3 (oh goodness) and it was exponentially cool, whatwith everything popping out and stuff. Surprisingly Coraline wasn't that scary, even though I clutched treeza's hand at one part. It's rather disturbing but I love love love it. Such an incredibly good movie.

Went to orchard for the third time this week. Cathay, Wisma, had dinner at Macs then home. Went to Yoshinoya today for lunch, SAW YITING(: Love it. Parkway is becoming more hip (not really my kind of hip but I can't seem to find another word to describe it) by the minute. Hang Ten took over Cbase, and Valerie over Cotton On Body! Though Valerie looks seriously out of place.

Loving the weather nowadays. Breezy, cooling, rainy.

(:

I miss

We heart IKEA.

2009-11-12T05:45:00.000-08:00

Yesterday:
Ikea with Isa and Crystle was so supercalifragilisticexpielidocious (yes the spelling's screwed) I had the funnest time. Went nuts at the cafe during lunch hour, swedish meatballs with cranberry sauce, clam chowder soup, spaghetti, potato salad, the best lunch I've had in a long time. Camwhored with random furniture and sauntered around, peered in all the fancy showrooms (I really want my house to be like that next time) Did the 500 days of summer Ikea roleplay thing with crystle, "Honey, the oven's broken!". Thank you isa for being our very tolerant photographer who had to put up with us camwhores. Incurred various stares from people, we were all so high. And thank you guys for helping me look for presents!
Pics are on fb.

Today:
Bugis, then Orchard with Crystle, present-hunting again. Walked until I wanted to collaspe, but I'm really glad because I've finally bought everyone's belated birthday presents! The day passed so fast - rushing all over the island, getting lost while navigating our way to Far east, oggling at food in Ion, getting pissed at bitchy shopkeepers and whatnot. Woah I am exhausted. Going out everyday is very taxing but I'm loving it.

drifting off into the candlelight.

2009-11-10T05:17:00.000-08:00

it's over.

Other than a very close shave which almost gave me a heart attack before paper 1 began, everything went alright, not very well, but alright.

The close shave which I repeat, I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE TO EVER EXPERIENCE EVER AGAIN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE --------------
In the bloody morning at 7.45 am FIFTEEN MINUTES BEFORE THE PAPER BEGAN, as everyone began to troop solemnly into the hall (as though we were all awaiting our death, really) I realised that in my haste yesterday night, I grabbed the CONFIRMATION SLIP instead of the damn ENTRY PROOF and stuffed it into my bag. So imagine my absolute horror to find myself with no entry proof. My heart literally sank when Tat told me that the slip I had wasn't the entry proof. I was on the verge of a mental breakdown, "oh god oh god why why why did this have to happen" ran through my mind simultaneously as so did "shit shit I can't take the exam I'm gonna have to be the only loser who doesn't take the o' level, oh shit my life is over" . The worst scariest I freaking swear moment ever. Had to run all the way down to the general office to photocopy my entry proof, before rushing back up to the hall, and unglamly brisk walking to my table which was all the way at the front of the hall. All out of breath, perspiring like crazy, my face flushed, but I was just in time for the paper. So the drama man.

I love sitting all the way up at front (despite having had to take the long walk down the aisle with a hundred pair of eyes fixated on me in the morning, "oh that latecomer!" ) Observing the invigilators collect and count the exam papers is somewhat intriguing, I like looking at them when they're all up on stage, with their backs facing everyone, all of them lined up, decked out in different outfits. I love seeing the way their fingers swiftly skim through the thick pile of scripts, the way they act so professionally yet who knows what they may be thinking, "I hope the girls do well, tkgians are awesome" . And I think it's really cool how some teachers don't look like teachers at all - there was the business woman wannabe, and the young one that looked like a caricature, like she just fell out of a japanese comic book with her school girlish skirt and preppy white shoes, and there was the stony faced one dressed casually in a plain tee and old faded grey jeans, like she was going to Starbucks. It really allowed me to kill time while waiting for dismissal.
Both papers were pretty tough! But I'm ecstatic now, really glad I'm finally free to do whatever I want.

After the exam, went to icc with rachel and shermaine, then caught my girlfriend is an agent at cathay. My first ever non-english speaking show at the cinema, I didn't even catch those stupid crass Jack Neo movies (I am strongly against all those brainless I Not Stupid ones) Anyway. The show was surprisingly really good! Bloody funny, laughed my socks off the whole time. One of those feel good light-hearted comedies that just puts a smile on your face. Korean is a fascinating language, I love the way korean just rolls off their tongues. I compare it to speaking animated french mixed with a somewhat oriental vibe. Weird comparison yes.
Then rachel and I went on a mad cheapo shopping spree at Daiso, nearly bought the entire shop. But due to shortage of cash and gradual developing guilt caused by impulsiveness, we decided to not be extravagant (my god, it's DAISO!) and managed to sacrifice various unnecessary items to ensure the survival of future shopping, lest we end up broke and sad.

Shopping at daiso = cheap thrills.

2009-11-06T06:19:00.000-08:00

extended studies are over. GREAT.
Now just the mt o' levels and then liberation.
Feeling so effing scared now, maybe it's a bit of a stretch but I'm really hoping for an A1.
Okay I'm freaking out big time now shit shit shit it's bloody O's ON FREAKING TUESDAY.

Ms Yang's last day today.
It's a bit too much of a coincidence that she and ms ng are both leaving the school, but it's really sad.
I'm gonna miss them both.

Okay my social life's gonna maintain its inactivity until after tuesday, so until then this blog will be relatively dead.
Tuesday onwards - party like there's no tomorrow.

teenage dreams in a teenage circus

2009-11-03T03:51:00.000-08:00

Talk about coincidences. Heard the same exact song played in Naive, that I still to this day have not found the title of, in Everything With Fries today! And I still couldn't catch any of the lyrics, this is so annoying. Anyway finally ate there for lunch with rach, tessa, nat and vic. I really like it, it's one of those obscure nondescript quaint cafes hidden in the heart of Katong, blended in with all the other shophouses. Love the relaxed chill ambience, the whole place has cool vibes, all the whitewashed walls with tiny witty simplistic letters painted in the most random areas. The food is pretty good, I swear caesar salad makes me want to eat salad for the rest of my life. Ordered a cupcake with a candle there for Nat, (they sell really great cupcakes and swiss rolls!) but she spoiled her birthday surprise by popping in when we were trying to light it.

Then bridged till the cows went home.

My very well spent day.

Halloween on the 30th.

2009-10-30T08:33:00.000-07:00

Two days late, but-
Halloween party at Brenda's turned out to be the shizz.

No prizes for guessing what I wore, yes I even scared the living daylights out of myself and despite the fact that I'm a total horror movie coward I actually managed to look decently scary. Scrapped the angel idea since I didn't have wings, a big thank you to my seamstresses tat and ting for helping me create my bloody bedsheet dress, as I was in desperate need of a costume at the last minute. Slabbed on eyeliner and ta-dah. Paige Lim managed to pull it off. Oh and instead of a bloody knife I had a bloody fork. IT WAS FUN LOOKING LIKE A PONTIANAK/SAMARA(?) FROM THE RING. Dedicated to you, rasee ;)

So there was the hot nurse (ting), slutty devil (tat), tinkerbell (vic, who shred her old green pinafore), the holy nun (rach), and the cute witch (nat). Everyone's costumes were seriously awesome. Including mel, who was a cowboy without the hat.

Rained cats and dogs, rain stopped halfway, camwhored by the pool, barbequed and roasted mashmallows, chatted with ms ng and ms yang, and yeah in the end it was really enjoyable. My dress sadly disintegrated into a mangled heap of ripped cloth by the time I went home. And the blood looked like diluted ketchup (it was poster paint)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SLUTTY TAT AND DEN!(:

Left me, in yesterday.

2009-10-27T03:00:00.000-07:00

I feel like a stupid cheena nerd.
Been studying for stupid o'level chinese (which is in two weeks time oh no) the entire day when instead I could have been out enjoying this perfectly beautiful tuesday. This is probably the first ever school holiday (excluding the march, june, nov and dec ones) I've spent at home.
The only consolation perhaps is that I had a good 10 and a half hours of sleep last night, coupled with another 1 hour at 3 today when I got sick of memorising crap words and fell soundly asleep on my bed. I love sleeping.
Oh and instead of going out, since technically tomorrow is the start of the holidays, we'll be going to school for extended studies. Like whaaaaaaaat. This is so, so sad.

I am also getting really sick of ris low. I swear if I ever hear a BOOMZ out of nowhere again I am going to yell at that person's face. It is all getting incredibly annoying. Don't get me wrong, but it was pretty funny last time. But now that she's become old news, why do we still continue to linger in this whole fad? Why are we still indulging in her mediocre sub-standard english? I can't believe I even used BOOMZ in one of my fb statuses once (back in the heyday when ris low was in the limelight). Urgh. Everyone's using BOOMZ in everything! Even in sentences that don't make any complete sense. Everyone's squeezing BOOMZ in everything, using the word in such contrived situations. I think a week ago Yiting told me her brother's friend (was it?) that used the word BOOMZ in a seriously nonsensical way and I burst out laughing there and then. On msn, he typed, HI BOOMZ.
?!???

Further more, I cannot comprehend why people love using FML. No offense to anyone. I mean, it's none of my darn business to dictate who is to use what phrase/word but it just set me thinking. (I love to think) Everyone's using it so often, do they really think their life is that bad? Or does using it just give them more excuse to wallow in self-contained pity, that their life undoubtedly sucks? Maybe it's just this teen adolescent thing I don't get, but honestly how about other people out there in the world suffering? They deserve to say all the fmls they want. I feel indignant, maybe I'm just being a prude. Oh well.

By the way, big super thank you to amanda, because thanks to her I got a job for two days packaging beauty products into goodie bags. The highlight- I'm gonna get paid 6 bucks an hour. Now I can get extra funding for various people's birthday presents.

YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES I'M GONNA GET MONEY.

Pardon the money-minded outburst.

2009-10-26T06:54:00.000-07:00

me: Would you like to bring some happiness to my life, and get some girl guide cookies?

tessa: ................. no.

of kerosene and electric sparks

2009-10-26T05:03:00.000-07:00

Lunch at Naive today, some organic vegetarian restaurant at Katong, with rach, nat, yiting and yinhui. Seriously unique experience. Everything was mock meat - half the dishes were mushroom dishes but they so did not taste like mushrooms. So we had mushroom rendang (TASTED LIKE BEEF OMG) and some battered oyster mushroom thing. I'm going back there!

Heard this song playing there, but I don't know the song title because I didn't manage to catch the lyrics! I really hate it when I like a song but have no means of finding out what it is so I can download it. All I know is that it sounds kinda indie. I NEED TO FIND OUT THE SONG.
WHAT IS THE SONG?! WHAT IS IT WHAT IS IT?!? I can't even remember the tune now.

recap.

2009-10-24T21:24:00.000-07:00

Last tuesday:
Superb board game marathon with vic, tessa, nat, mel (who was there only for a short while)
I know this is a really belated post, but I just got reminded of it suddenly. Taboo, pictionary, jenga truth or dare (which was bloody hilarious).

"It must be the cat" - inside joke.

(:

Yesterday:
Swam at the swimming complex right smack in the beginning of midday. I think I was either a total brainless inane idiot or was just plain stupid back then. It was hot like dskfjdslkfjkdsjfkdsjfksdf and I had to slather so much sunblock on my skin that I looked ridiculous. And it was precisely because it was noon, so there was literally almost nobody swimming. Burned to death. I was worried I wouldn't be able to see a thing underwater whatwith my crap eyesight but it wasn't too bad. I could still remember how to froggy kick! Yay.

Chilled out at Starbucks with beth in the afternoon, it was fun catching up, all the random banter and post-results evaluation. WHICH REMINDS ME OF THE OH-SO-DREADED IMPENDING O'S. Grey menacing cumulonimbus clouds hovering over my head right now, that threaten to destroy the last few honeymoon moments of this year. Extended studies on wednesday!
Then walked around Parkway and found out the 500 days of summer soundtrack is yet again sold out, WHEN WILL IT EVER BE AVAILABLE. I'm sure my interest/enthusiasm will begin to wane after waiting for so long for it. Later stopped right outside lensmen because I saw a green pinafored girl inside trying on specs, and I kept on wondering who she was, and beth said she looked familiar (we managed to uncover her identity and it turned out to be WARISARA), and we stood outside the shop for around five minutes because I kept on deliberating whether I should go in and say hi since I knew her. And for some reason I find this so strange yet amusing because in the end, she walked right past us and into the distance. I didn't get to say hi.

:(

i think i'm really weird.

I wrote elegiac stanzas for you,

2009-10-23T03:31:00.000-07:00

OMG I PASSED CHINESE. I GOT A B3. THIS IS INCREDIBLE.
AMAZING. MIRACULOUS.

On another note, anyone want to buy guide cookies? If you do please tell me, I'll get you a tin. Three flavours- chocolate mint, chocolate cream and chocolate crunch (new flavour), and it's 1 tin for ten bucks. I NEED TO SELL MORE. All my regular customers last year have abandoned me as their supplier hahahaha.

So, even with the exams over, life is kinda mundane and I feel so lethargic. I also feel like I've let some really great people down, in one way or another through my various actions and words which were seemingly innocuous at first but in retrospect, I realise they actually had a tremendous impact on those people. Looking back, I feel absolutely horrible, I don't know what got into me. I've been so self-absorbed and caught up in my own world that I haven't taken time to observe everything around me and reflect. Maybe it's a case of taking other people for granted, and I feel so ashamed, and I don't ever want to do that ever again. We don't always get second chances, do we?

I don't think those people I've let down even feel know that i've let them down (does this make any sense?) but I have, and I'm really sorry.

On yet another note,
Please make up your mind. Maybe I'm overeading this. But - It really hurts being dumped aside, now that you've gotten tired of me.

but he's candy-coated misery,

2009-10-22T05:48:00.000-07:00

God knows how the heck I got 31/100 for amath overall, but you know what? Despite being extremely appalled/ bewildered/ astonished/ horrified/ shocked like zomg kdjkdjsfkdsjfkjfkddkfjdkjfkdjkd after getting my paper, I'm actually feeling pretty alright.
And I love my parents so much for being so cool about it.

me: Mom, I got 31/100.
Mom: Hahahahaha, never mind it's okay. I know you can do it. Just try harder next time.

She actually laughed.
And dad said he wouldn't disown me(:

Never expected to do so badly, but the crapshit marks were probably due to the fact that I just blanked out (I just literally forgot all the methods) , used the wrong mode in calculation, left out sums I didn't see (how is that possible) etc.
AHHHHHHHH OKAY I HAVE TO MAKE IT RIGHT NEXT YEAR I HAVE TO!

Come on, come on. Self-motivation!

2009-10-21T02:25:00.001-07:00

Thinking about it just makes me terrified.

meatballs.

2009-10-19T04:12:00.000-07:00

This is the cutest animated movie ever. The main character's so geeky cute. Animated movies make me happy.
So I've caught about five movies in a span of one and a half weeks. And I'm gonna be watching Julie and Julia with Aqilah wednesday! Which will make it six. See this is why movies are so spectacularly awesome. Minus the stupid ratings (SOMEONE TELL ME WHY THE HURT LOCKER IS M18!)

AND WHEN THE HELL IS WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE GONNA BE OUT.
I need to watch it, the trailer is so, so sad.

so you sailed away into a grey sky morning -

2009-10-18T06:06:00.000-07:00

I HAVE SO MUCH FREE TIME NOW THAT I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO SPEND IT.
Love the fact that monday and tuesday are holidays though.
(:

I cannot believe the day that I got sick of subway would actually come.
Because I am really, incredibly sick of subway that I don't want to even eat the cookies.
I am even sick of the cookies! HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE.
And the strange thing is that I haven't eaten subway for probably a month.
Woah.

Went to Orchard four times this week. Finally stepped into Orchard Central (I had no idea it even existed, maybe because Orchard Ion stole all the limelight away, and now most people think it's some random building with very fancy lights at night. It needs more publicity!) I kinda like it, though the design of the shopping mall is horrible. The shops are all over the place hidden obscurely in nooks and crannies and they're pretty limited too, and there's this big wastage of space and it's so cramped. BUT THERE'S THAT CAFE WHICH YOU CAN ROCK CLIMB AT AND I AM SO GOING THERE OMG IT'S SO FREAKING COOL. Can you imagine having a cup of tea and when you look above, wham there' a huge towering wall above you with people stuck up there trying valiantly to scramble their way up without falling off. So cool.

And there's this shop WHICH SELLS TONS OF SCRAPBOOKING STUFF LIKE LETTERS AND PENS AND ALL ARTSY STUFF AHHHHHHHHH I WANT TO BUY THE WHOLE SHOP. It's called Urban Write by the way, so everyone who likes art and diy stuff should totally check it out.

I just babbled about shopping. Sorry.

I ALSO GOT A NEW SWIMMING COSTUME. Which is amazing because now I can finally go swimming after three years and hopefully regain my swimming ability (shit I hope I still remember how to do freestyle breaststroke backstroke sidestroke butterfly etc) I miss swimming. I wish I had taken Goldstar, or at least joined competitive swimming back then, because swimming was really something I was passionate about.
NOW I HAVE TO START ALL OVER AGAIN.

And I've got a this random swimming joke.

There was once a blonde who entered the 100 m breastroke competition. It was her first time, and so she was very nervous, but she gave it all and managed to clinch second prize.

Blonde: I did it coach! I got second place!
Coach: Great honey, but next time I think you'll do better if you use your hands instead.

so watch me strike a match;

2009-10-14T03:47:00.000-07:00

I remember briefly glancing through this book a few years back (before I delved into the gendre of shallow chick-lit) and it left such an indelible imprint on me. Very haunting. The movie looks interesting, haven't seen Sarah Michelle Gellar since Scooby Doo.

Watched The Ugly Truth with amanda today, we finally sneaked into our first NC16 movie (hahahahahaha) and got all high, such a cheap thrill. At first unsuccessfully tried to cheat the auntie, who insisted on seeing our ICs and e-zlink cards, so we tried to quickly concoct some crap up which so didn't work, and then we just bought tickets to Surrogates and then surreptitiously sneaked into the other hall showing the ugly truth.

Now I know why it was rated NC16.

Can't believe how I managed to spend a 100 bucks in two days.
And I'm still gonna go out shopping.

I need a money tree.

Does anyone else NOT want to go to marina barrage tomorrow? I can just imagine the fun of looking at seawall/groyne lookalikes. Boring.

Breathe.

2009-10-13T08:54:00.000-07:00

Liberation has never felt any sweeter.
Played tennis after the emath exam, then caught up with nat, yiting and tessa and watched 500 Days Of Summer. Spoilers: It was a really good, quirky indie movie, kinda artsy. Zooey Deshanel and Joseph Levitt have such awesome chemistry. It isn't like the normal cliche-filled romance comedies you usually see, and the ending was so sad and no, it doesn't have a happily ever-after. Pretty refreshing in that way. REID FROM CRIMINAL MINDS ACTED IN IT!!! <3

Doule movie date. Then watched Paper Heart at Cineleisure, hilarious mockumentary and so different from what I had expected it to be. Got my starbucks fix and bused home with vic on 16. I am so sleepy now after an entire day out.

Watching two movies about love in one day doesn't make love any less complex. Love is so complicated.

Summer: I woke up one morning and I just knew.
Tom: What?
Summer: What I was never sure of you.

We were careless hearts who got caught up in this.

2009-10-12T04:45:00.000-07:00

Doomsday today.
Amath was screwed-up shit. Blanked out because I didn't know the first three sums, didn't finish the paper, skipped sums I actually knew how to do, and my hastily scribbled illegible handwriting is so not going to make things better.
But the worst thing is, that the paper would actually have been alright if I had practiced more. If god lets me pass this I am going to work my butt off for math next year (I mean it!)

Chem was incredibly difficult but still manageable. Guessed half the MCQ answers and threw in new elements to balance half the chemical equations hahahaha.

Only Emath left! Have to ace this or else my math future will be in serious jeopardy.

Going to go wild tomorrow. Wednesday's a holiday too! Awesome awesome. Late nights at orchard<3

Cannot wait for this-

2009-10-09T23:15:00.000-07:00

TUESDAY TUESDAY TUESDAY PLEASE.

2009-10-09T05:57:00.000-07:00

I'm becoming increasingly restless for the stupid exams to end.
Finished bio at 6 am today and knocked out for four hours after I came back, I don't know how I am going to finish eight chapters of chem and five chapters of amath in three days but when there's a will, there's always a way! A draining tiring mentally exhausting sad way which induces headaches and snatches away snoozing time:(

Yes I can do this, just a few more days of torture and suffering and it'll be done.
I want my movie/board-game marathons and for the revival of my social life.

Am not supposed to be on the com!
Heck lah.

Feeling cranky now due to my bloody swollen lip which looks utterly disgusting and revolting because michael kicked my face yesterday night after we got into some very violent scuffle, and now the whole thing has poofed out into a ball of pus like an ulcer imitation.

I hope people don't get turned off too much.
Ruo Xi looked very traumatised when she saw it.

:(

We'll still have the summer after all.

2009-10-04T00:58:00.000-07:00

Went to Parkway for the fourth time this week. Am never going to get sick of going there.
Call me slow, but got hugely excited when I found out Yoshinoya, Starbucks (which is so totally chill-worthy and its cosy roomy atmosphere is just so study-conducive) and KFC opened. Okay I hate KFC (Yes I do, despite the fact that whole world loves KFC, I just get horribly grossed out by the deep-fried fattening crispy chicken skin glistening with fat and slippery oil, and the inside isn't any better)
I think Parkway's seriously so cool now. I mean, if you've been going there for practically half your life, you can say it's changed so much that it's literally unrecognizable now.
From MPH to the new MPH to Borders and from the old food court to the new food court and now the renovated food court and suddenly out of nowhere pops out Cotton On which is probably the only teen-friendly store standing out brightly in a series of otherwise, auntie stores like wanko. My mom just bought a dress there. Uhh.

Wasted my whole weekend away. Now the guilt's painfully settling in and hitting me like a ton of bricks. Actually it's only geography that sucks. I hate geography.

Is it remotely possible for someone who has so many things to do like studying to actually feel bored to the max? Because I feel so bored that I could just die. Someone please inject fun into my life.

Bitterheart.

2009-10-03T01:18:00.000-07:00

So just the math and the science and the geog and the chinese and the exams will be over.
Social Studies scared the crap out of me, spent ten very precious minutes inferring info from the Background information instead of the cartoon which I failed to notice was the real source A, panicked and went mad when I found out I had wasted so much time writing one whole page of irrelevant words, then rushed like jfkdjfkjdsfjkdljfkdl and managed to cram both SEQS in half an hour. My whole hand couldn't move after the exam.

I pity Mr Low. The illegible handwriting is just, well, horrifying.
Incredibly thankful I managed to finish the paper.

Chinese was surprisingly alright, but that's what I thought for the mid years and ended up just passing both compos.
But I'm keeping my fingers crossed for these ones, I actually want to hang on and suffer for one more year and NOT PLEASE NOT DROP HMT.

I'm kinda happy about Singtel acquiring the rights to air EPL.
Because now, dad will have no choice but to subscribe to MIOTV which means GOSSIP GIRL AND GLEE AND THE VAMPIRE DIARIES AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

(((((((((((((((((((((:

I'm feeling so high right now.

So how did you get here under my skin -

2009-09-30T07:02:00.000-07:00

I need to really work on managing my very volatile emotions, which usually tend to spiral out of control when stress takes over me.

And Criminal Minds is the absolute shizz.

Back.

2009-09-26T02:49:00.000-07:00

After getting various requests to revive my blog, I have finally relented.
And yes, I do miss blogging. Kinda.
Anyway it was a good hiatus of some sort because there is ESSENTIALLY NOTHING TO BLOG ABOUT IN THIS SAD EXAM MUGGING PERIOD. Which isn't going too well but at least I started early on the stupidest subject of amath.

Yesterday bridged at Macs again for the whole afternoon (damn it just seems so much more appealing than mugging) and bridged again in Subway in the evening. This is what happens when you don't have a life, instead of going out to shop or doing something more productive like watching a movie. Which you don't because you want to go and "study'. But you end up not doing that either way.

F1 F1 F1 F1 <3333333333333
Qualifying tonight!
Bro went to catch kimi and fischi in action at Orchard Ion on Wednesday, but they didn't give any autographs which was such a pity. Got a couple of lame pictures of the sides of their faces.
And to burst everyone's stupid bubble, HAMILTON IS NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT HOT.
Ewwwwwwwwwwww. He looks like a girl.

Won't be back for some time, but keep posted for updates!

AND PEOPLE IT'LL BE NICE IF YOU GUYS SPAM MY TAGBOARD.
Because an empty tagboard is just...demoralizing.

2009-09-17T03:14:00.000-07:00

Epic Bridge session for four hours at Macs after school yesterday with vic, rach and yiting.

I love Bridge.

Lovefool.

2009-09-14T06:06:00.000-07:00

Went back to school with much reluctance and a certain weariness. Had a great sleep during reading period for a whole 40 minutes.
But that was at the end of the day.

MFB pissed me and nat off big-time in the morning. Grrr. Wasn't a good start to a new monday.
Played tennis during PE and honestly the soft balls are just ridiculous.
Bridged during recess, watched more US Open when I came home.
Federer's in the final!<3
And Kim Clijsters won the ladies single, yay to the comeback mom!(:

Bus ride with treeza (for a short while) and ange was comforting in some sense. Miss those guys.
So were the long phone chats with crystle and den during the previous weekend.
It's little things like these that perk up dreary mundane life.

Super honeymoon.

2009-09-12T05:25:00.000-07:00

Random thingys.

1) Subway dinner with A and double J on friday evening.
2) ANTM is as high-profile as ever. GO FO!
3) Project Runway's coming back! yay.
4) This week has been as unproductive as a lawnmower on a newly-mowed lawn.
5) Writing poems and proses make me really happy.
6) I need to watch Fringe.
7) All Parkway needs now is a cinema.
9) F1 IS COMING TO SINGAPORE SOON OHGOSHOHGOSH THERESA CAN YOU GO WITH ME TO SEE THEM IF THEY HAVE PROMOTIONAL EVENTS OR SOMETHING?
10) The year passes too fast.

of better moments;

2009-09-10T10:26:00.000-07:00

In a fit of emotional distress, I deleted my tagboard.
Might put it back up next time, but for now, there's nothing.

My eyes are super puffy and I have a runny nose.
Tears shed could actually fill a jug.
2am nights kill me.

One day, I'd like to see the world in a different light.

Wednesday night-

2009-09-09T20:23:00.000-07:00

did not turn out the way it was supposed to. Everything was planned indiscriminately, rushed down to cathay cineleisure in my sloppy fbts and baggy shirt (because I had forgotten to bring my clothes after tennis!!), hence contributing to the image of nonchalent overly-casual Singaporeans who trail all over Singapore in flip flops and shorts. Looked totally out of place in a sea of glammed-up women with their male counterparts strutting down orchard road. Arrived at Cathay to find tickets for Time Traveler's Wife already sold out for the 7.25 pm show. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

The next few events were a blur of hysteria and utter frustration- waited aeons and aeons for everyone (and the best part was that NONE of them were contactable), had to buy the Straits Times from 7-11 and comb through the entire movie section for other suitable timings at other places, travelled all the way down to dhoby ghaut and then there was some ridiculous misunderstanding and my temper flared and I was literally on the verge of tears. Finally, and I mean FINALLY, met vic, rach, nat and tessa at cathay cineleisure back again.

Lolled around at the foodcourt before proceeding to Gloria Jeans' and in the end, watched the movie with rach and vic at 9.40pm (rest couldn't make it due to impending curfews) But interestingly the whole "outing" was rather fun in a sadistic piss-me-off-like-shit way (because I absolutely detest being late for movies, a total pet peeve and the stupid travelling up and down and miscommunication and inadvertent dying of everyone's phones) I got to settle down in the cinema (first row wasn't too bad I guess) all tired from the night's tumult of events.

Time Traveler's Wife was rather disappointing - yes it's basically like The Notebook and the chemistry between Rachel McAdams and Eric Bana was great, but the story had many loopholes and the pace was very uneven - too many short scenes and I didn't have enough time to form a strong emotional connection with the story because all the scenes seemed too quick and brief, and then it'll quickly switch to yet another scene. And some parts were really, uhh sappy.
It was sad, but I merely teared, so did Vic - but Rach cried her eyes out and I swear I have never seen anyone cry so hard in a movie before. But the movie did leave an impression on me - it was heart-renching to a certain extent and my mind was left reeling from the after-effects of witnessing a love tested by the strands of time.

Overall the show was saved by the two strong leads - but I'm glad I watched it. Planning to buy the book by Audrey Niffenegger! Cabbed home with vic and rach at midnight. Very spooky.

We're pulling apart and coming together again and again.

2009-09-08T04:25:00.000-07:00

I am not supposed to be on the computer! Dammit.
I'm actually very grateful I withdrew from cap primary for the sake of my FYES.
And though progress is slow beyond slow, I've done surds for Amath! YAY.
So just around maybe 11 and 3/4 chapters more, plus all the other subjects.

:(

On a random note,

I shouldn't think so much.
I shouldn't think so much.
I shouldn't think so much.

2 facts about me-
1) I am probably the most insecure person in the world. Insecure about everything.
2) I have a huge inferiority complex that I always try to hide.

I'm always so scared.

Of so, so many things.

of one day being alone.
that people are really as superficial as they seem.
that one day I'll be no different.
that one day I'll be the same
as them.

why do we like to hurt so much
why do we like to hurt so much

YES THIS IS A CRY FOR HELP.

2009-09-06T07:18:00.000-07:00

OKAY THIS IS VERY RANDOM AND OUT OF THE BLUE-ISH, AND I KNOW ALMOST EVERYONE HAS GOTTEN MY SMS, BUT -

If you happen to have these books of mine (which have been missing for almost two years, just that I gave up on finding them, but now I'm desperate to recover all):
PLEASE PLEASE I AM GOING DOWN ON MY KNEES AND BEGGING YOU PLEASE RETURN THEM TO ME.

1) Pretty little Liars "Perfect" (a pink hardcover thick book with some plastic doll barbie wannabe on the front) IT COST FREAKING THIRTY DOLLARS AND IT'S BRAND NEW AND ALL WRAPPED UP AND I WAS PROBABLY THE ONLY ONE IN SINGAPORE WHO HAD IT BACK THEN BECAUSE I WENT ALL THE WAY DOWN TO KINOKUNIYA TO GET MY COPY WHEN THE FIRST FIVE BOOKS WERE SHIPPED TO SINGAPORE
.
2) Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (The first EVER Harry Potter book I ever bought, and IF YOU'RE A HARRY POTTER FANATIC WHO FAINTLY REMEMBERS HAVING BORROWED IT FROM ME A DECADE AGO PLEASE DIG IT OUT OF YOUR MUSTY SHELF AND RETURN IT) And my brothers are scolding me like shit now for destroying the collection.

3) The Sisterhood of The Traveling Pants (My all-time favourite book, despite its chick lit content, it's the most poignant, relatable, touching chit-lit book I have ever read, PLEASE IF YOU HAVE IT DON'T BE A SELFISH BITCH AND KEEP IT FOR YOURSELF)

4) Size 12 is not Fat by MEG CABOT (Lost it in secondary one, after giving it up for some stupid class reading corner thing and I NEVER GOT IT BACK)

So any 2e3/1e3 people, PLEASE PLEASE CHECK YOUR HOUSE AND RECALL WHETHER YOU HAVE ANY OF THESE BOOKS. It would really mean the world to me and I'd appreciate it so much.
THANKS SO MUCH THANKS A BILLION.

SORRY MIND THE RANTING I AM SO PISSED NOW.
Argh.
I am NEVER going to lend any more books out to ANYONE ever again unless I know they can be trusted. Because over the years, I've lost more than TEN books, and that is a big deal because all my books are not cheap and they do contain sentimental value. My book collection is slowly diminishing in quantity.
Lost two of my precious Jacqueline Wilson books back in Primary school (Double Act, Bad Girls) and just recently I lost the Fruits Basket manga (though it's not that important, and I don't read it anymore, BUT STILL) I brought to school to sell, after someone borrowed it without asking me. AND I AM PRETTY SURE ALL MY BOOKS ARE WITH SOMEONE BECAUSE I HAVE COMBED MY HOUSE A BILLION TIMES.
My god I am so angry.
Not so much of people borrowing the book and forgetting to return it, but especially when PEOPLE JUST PASS MY BOOKS AROUND FREELY WITHOUT INFORMING ME THAT THEY'VE LENT IT TO SOMEBODY AND HENCE I CAN'T KEEP TRACK OF WHO HAS MY BOOK.

I just can't stand irresponsibility of that sort, especially since I always willingly lend people my books. AND THEN THEY JUST DISAPPEAR. SO MUCH FOR GENEROSITY AND MAGNANIMOUSNESS.

Okay I'm done.

Bright eyes and subtle variations of blue.

2009-09-04T08:14:00.000-07:00

Last friday of the term, went nuts and started yelling my head off and screaming after guides.
Got insanely wet and splashed water all over myself during wet games, being the station master was extremely slack and caught up with raseena while carrying pails of water to the basketball court.
Nearly died carrying my pile of books and uniform bag to parkway- many thanks to jas, jerry and athena for relieving some of my burden (my arms were literally numb and immune to ache after struggling to support the massive load before)

Four fo us decided to pon our respective tuitions, I mean for goodness sake who would want to spend the last friday of the term before the holidays doing chinese/chemistry?
Traipsed about Parkway (though we only walked for a really short while but it felt like we were lumbering through a jungle with 10 kg bags on our shoulders) with dinner at Subway, somehow today the energy level was unusually low - we were all rather lackadaisical and exhausted, (despite the fact that the wet games weren't physically draining) but the spirit soon picked up after devouring hot subs and cookies. Laughed over the confounding abnormalities of the human body, showcased bendy fingers and creepy flexible joints, bridged for two hours and I only won one measly game (that's what you get when you play with pros) before finally getting warned by the manager that no poker cards were allowed in the premises. We seriously bring tkgs a bad name. Then went all the way to macs and sat down there shamelessly without buying anything just to complete our game of bridge that had been abandoned halfway in subway after the warning.

I can't say how I relieved I am that the september holidays have arrived - couldn't have been a better timing.

Wistful musings-

2009-09-03T07:19:00.000-07:00

LIT FYE IS OVER. Paper was alright, just that the unseen prose and poem were really difficult. Never encountered such a difficult unseen before:O but at least now there's one less paper to mug for. Bridged non-stop during recess (den, ws crashed) and YITING IF YOU'RE READING THIS, I love you and you're gonna kick ass in Bridge soon okay, we just love teasing you hahaha.

Evening:

Went with Beth for Hwa Chong's English Drama club quartet of plays, a great way to spend the evening and pass the time. Was thoroughly entertained by the amusing comical performances, and their SYF piece "More" was pretty good, though I found it very complex and befuddling in the beginning (but in the end everything started falling into place and making sense) I am slow. The extra cheena performance by the chinese drama club was long-winded, and I was lost half the time - evidence of my inability to comprehend chinese, whilst most of the people (except Beth, who was equally bewildered by the chinese dialogue) were laughing their heads off in the auditorium.

Met a few CAPpers there, charmaine, shaun, alethea, ryanne, rei and hyo lim, and some of the councillors - I'm finally beginnning to see the whole rgs ri hci nyg circle of connections, it's becoming even more prominent and obvious, why didn't I see it before? Wouldn't have even known of the play had Ryan not informed me and gotten me tics. So having a sibling part of the elitist culture comes rather handy at times.

Tonight brought back a lot of memories, and just made me reflect on everything that has happened this year, on CAP, on people, on new experiences and lost chances, on forgotten goals and unfulfilled resolutions, on summer flings without the sex (hahaha beth!) and unrealistic yearnings. It amazes me how time flies so quickly (a cliched phrase, but yes) - it seemed like just yesterday when sec three first began, teeming with all sorts of promising possiblities, and you're all enbroiled in the pandemonium and chaos of first day, of new classmates and changes and grillings that the o's will be a 2 year course, and then you're suddenly whizzed to the present and it dawns on you that the year is about to come to a close (not yet, but it will soon). Time and tide waits for no man, but I wish I could just stop time, just for a fleeting moment, because I know 10.53 am of 3rd September 2009 won't ever come back again, because I don't want my days to pass so quickly and insignificantly, because time is irrecoverable.

Ironically, I'm watching the Time Traveler's Wife next week - I plan to wallow myself in the melancholy and penitence of unwisely spent days and lost moments then.

Perfect Symmetry.

2009-09-02T05:13:00.000-07:00

Why does Singapore love celebrating mediocrity?
Singapore Idol's on now, some girl just butchered and slaughtered Pink's "So What", it was so bad that Michael even clutched his ears, his face contorted in agony.

Mind the short posts, life's just been stressful and shitty and screwy and crappy and I can't wait for tomorrow even though it's just one FYE down and seven more to go.

For the last time, I am going to start earlier and stop the crash-coursing.

PS. I'm addicted to facebook.

Another September;

2009-09-01T04:54:00.000-07:00

If I could, I would throw To Kill A Mockingbird into a roaring fire right now and watch the flames eat all the pages up. STUPID BOOK GO AND DIE.

Lit FYE on thursday is stressing me out:(

And so August ends and September's here.
Just like that.

Back to basics.

2009-08-31T01:27:00.000-07:00

Best ever teachers' day so far, I trudged home wearily and nearly collasped right on my door step because I was so tired. Delivery of presents was as usual, haphazard and highly chaotic - got hopelessly caught in a massive human jam with bodies being squashed against one another in the congested walkway outside the staffroom, with the stale smell of sweat lingering in the air (like ewww) and sticky people shoving and pushing their way through. Me and amanda stubbornly planted ourselves right outside the door, enjoying the sudden rejuvenating burst of cool air-con whenever a teacher entered or walked out, and kept ordering Mr John to call the teachers we wanted to see outside.

Was great to go back to SAC with Isa and manda, and all the teachers were there, which was a huge relief. (Last year was a total failure because by the time we had arrived, the whole school had been reduced to a complete ghosttown; the teachers had all left, and me and isa were left to slug about the school and idle the afternoon away in disappointment) Wallowed in self-contained nostalgia and became all sentimental walking through those cramped tiny corriders swamped with all the little blue pinafore-clad girls chatting animatedly with each other. Soaked in the lost innocence of primary school life all over again and the simplicity of everything in the past, where amath and emath didn't possess our minds with numbers and there weren't multiple CAs and tests every waking moment. Just venturing into the school made me feel so relaxed; it just felt so good to take a vacation from secondary school stress.

As part of yearly routine went to see Ms chee, bumped into mdm Shubana. Me, manda and isa spoke to Ms cham! And for the finale, we managed to find the elusive Ms Chow after scouring the corriders for her familiar face. The three of us burst into a fit of irrepressible laughter when she finally made her grand entrance into the staffroom area (couldn't help it lah). I did feel a tinge of pity for after learning from Ms Cham about the whole petition against her last year to stop teaching primary six (my god, since when did primary sixes get so daring) but manda and isa who detest her to the core didn't let their consciences get in the way. With Isa standing there staring at Ms Chow silently with covert loathing, and manda bombarding her with hilarious recommendations to join Singapore idol, the whole experience was pretty hilarious.

Later on, I was overtaken by waves of new-found hyperness and went ballistic camwhoring and doing failed jumpshots and retarded poses at the hopscotch area. Kept laughing manically and was so damn high that manda and isa were scared.

Love SAC.

The eleventh hour.

2009-08-29T08:23:00.000-07:00

Action-packed, drama-filled day. I'm just gonna ramble and disregard punctuation and sentence structures. Suntec City in the evening, Crystle conveniently forgot to bring my accesories which she borrowed, then I was late (as usual) and we got lost and couldn't find one another, later bought tickets for The Proposal and walked around because the movie would only start half an hour later, but then we came in at exactly seven and missed most of the trailers (my fault because I had no idea Eng Wah screened its movies on the dot, and you were supposed to come in earlier and not on the stated time), after the movie at city hall realised my wallet was missing from my bag (scared the living shit out of me) walked all the way back to suntec, the kind usher allowed us to sneak back into the same cinema and coincidentally it was showing The Proposal too, crawled and went on our knees trying to find the wallet in the dark (cinema wasn't full, the area where we sat was empty) Crystle climbed over the seats right in front of everyone and finally fished out my wallet from the floor. Contemplated staying in the cinema and watching The Proposal all over again, but our overwhelming consciences got the better of us and we left.

The Proposal was sweet, it wasn't GREAT, but I liked it! It was funny and endearing and Ryan Reynolds was kinda hot inside (KINDA ONLY) I just couln't ignore the fact that Sandra Bullock is so much older than him in real life, and that pretty much made all the kissing awkwardish-weird, for some inexplicable reason at the ending kiss I realised Ryan Reynolds resembled a monkey. And that made me wince and grimace in my seat and the passion of the kiss rather much disintegrated into nothingness. Anyway if you need a light-hearted comedy go watch it, it's for hopeless romantics. About a billion times better than Ghosts of Girlfriends Past (the shittiest movie I've ever watched this year)

Okay I'm tired. Glad I got to relive some stress (though at the expense of my lit mugging) but oh well I needed a fun night. Crystle, nobody would have ever climbed over seats in the cinema and embarrassed themselves like that to find a wallet. Thanks for being the exception(:

'Cause you are the brightest star,

2009-08-26T04:00:00.000-07:00

Watched the choir concert with Yiting at the Esplanade yesterday night, and we only needed to pay $6.40! So cheap. Was rather bored throughout the whole show, but still it was quite soothing listening to all the regal melodious voices resonating the entire hall, (though most were chinese songs sung about food and prosperity and wealth) and relaxing in the overwhelming grand concert hall with its palatial furnishings and luxurious seats and extravagant thingys dangling down from the magnificent ceiling. TKchoir was great, gave rachel, risa, sheryl and tat pretty pretty flowers and I saw Rachel Koh from CAP! Ooooh small world.

Lit FYE is next week, which is ridiculously near. Argh. I have yet to watch the proposal! And Bandslam got a surprisingly good rating, I'm guessing it's kinda like nick and norah's infinite playlist minus the sex and containing the disney element in it.

Working at the car wash yeah.

2009-08-24T03:51:00.001-07:00

Carwash after school today.

Washed three cars-Ms Ng's, Mrs Shirley Yeo's and Mr Seah's (do not even get me started on that filthy thing) and now due to our incredibly ambitious enthusiastic spirits we still have ten more cars to go. I still cannot comprehend why we are bothering to work so hard just to fulfil a three-hour CIP legacy project. Just for a measly inconsequential trifling three hours, during which we slave and labour like nobody's business. And technically we're going to be spending more than twelve hours, because we're continuing on wednesday and thursday too.

It was rather tiring having to carry buckets of water from the rusty creaky tap near the bbq pits, then staggering across the prickly grass while grasping onto the thin flimsy handle of the bucket with water spilling out every minute during the long arduous journey back to the carpark. And after we plonked down our buckets, we realised we were left with only half a pail of water.
And my feet ended up calloused and dirty and peeling after grazing them on the rough surface of the carpark.
Ouch.

But overall, it was actually fun scrubbing the cars manically with soap and splashing water all over the hood and windows and then pouring water over each other and sitting on the ground gulping ice-cold green tea.

I felt very gratified after seeing all the cars so squeaky clean (esp. Mr Seah's car, did he drive through the mud or something?) Guess it was worth it lah.

The Proposal with amanda tomorrow, yay yay yay.

High hopes in velvet ropes.

2009-08-22T20:24:00.000-07:00

Got woken up at the unearthly hour of 7 AM ARE YOU KIDDING ME on a perfect sunday morning, by natasha michiko yokoyama who's having the time of her life chilling in Canada. Thought some stalker got the wrong number, because I had a missed call from the same unidentifiable number on Saturday morning.

me: .....Hello...?
Nat: HI PAIGE!
me: ..............
me: omg hi nat! (with slightly less enthusiasm and a very croaky voice)

I miss fighting with my chairman.
BUT SO COOL I ACTUALLY GOT A PHONE CALL FROM CANADA. And a canadian wall post on fb and a canadian sms. Hahahahaha I am so easily thrilled.

I realised today my schoolwork productivity on weekends, on a scale of one to ten, veers between zero and one. I need to go for self-motivation courses and study dates with friends! *though for the latter more talking than studying will be done. Mom had to unstitch my pinafore because I got too many exclamations on how slutty I looked, with a hemline ten cm above my knees.And jerry/athena/reassena said they could see my fbts/underwear whenever I bent over to pick up stuff. I swear that was so embarrassing.
Crystle crashed my house yesterday and to put it simply, to steal my jewellery, buy used items from me (will not state the purpose so as to save her from being branded a cheapo) and help her dress up as a rock star. I'm so happy I got more moolah.
Been selling all my old manga comics (thank you elizabeth, rachel, linhui!) and so far I have earned a decent $20 from selling 10 books (they are in mint condition, mind you). THIS IS GOING KINDA WELL. So whenever my wallet's screaming for cash and emitting waves of poverty, I just sell a book, and poof! I don't have to starve for lunch. I feel so entrepreneur-ish. Though I used to buy one book of fruits basket in primary school for an exhorbitant sum of EIGHT DOLLARS AND NINETY CENTS (and that means I'm making a loss of eight to seven dollars for one book!), I still feel quite content. That is why I want a job. Because I love working, regardless of what job I get. And I get money. Shit I'm so money-minded.

Watched Singapore Idol on saturday evening (the replay), and it was the group performance. That was the first time I actually sat down to watch more than half an hour of SI, because other times I just watched the snippets/short clips for five minutes before hurrying off to do something else or I simply forget to watch it at all.

My gosh. If I were the contestants, I'd feel so mortified that I'd run away and migrate to Canada (haha). SIMON COWELL WOULD FAIL ALL THE CONTESTANTS. And these were the people that actually made it pass the auditions! Singapore's talent pool...oh man. And not that I can sing well, but seriously, everyone is just so darn bad that half the time I was cringing and grimacing with chagrin or laughing out loud because the singing was just so off.
AMERICAN IDOL FOREVER.
But I'm still going to continue watching - just for laughs.

To top off my very slackish week -
federer's in the cincinnati finals with djokovic! (((((((((((((((((((((:

Sunglasses, cover up my green eyes.

2009-08-20T06:37:00.000-07:00

Summer Boy is so catchy and addictive zomg. It's been on repeat since ten minutes ago. So I don't hate Lady Gaga anymore! I have been unconsciously listening to her music for the past week because my brother blasts it on the hall everyday while I'm reading newspapers. Cannot believe he bought her CD, and now he's heavily infatuated with her. And yes, maybe I only hated her because of her atrocious fashion sense and the fact that she's rather overrated. I feel so hypocritical now, since I sorta like her.
According to my brother, I've been gaga-fied.

Just finished writing a whole brand new ONE FREAKING THOUSAND worded essay for the writer's badge. I am so proud of myself because for once, I thoroughly enjoyed writing an essay and did not treat it as some obligation. AND I STILL HAVE SO MANY MORE PRO BADGES TO DO ARGH I CANNOT FINISH THEM JIE SHI PLEASE EXTEND THE DEADLINE.
Plus emath = die forever, Ms yeo hates me like shit, I can just tell.

That'll make it 6 F9s for emath. Looks bad. Gulps.

Got back english compo, and surprisingly I actually thought I deserved much lower, because I didn't even touch on inner beauty. I should be thanking my lucky stars profusely right now.
Thank you thank you thank you.

Spiralling;

2009-08-17T06:37:00.000-07:00

I am proud of myself for adopting a non-conformist attitude and not being whisked into the whole "let's tie our ponytail at one side" new current fad that seems to have taken the whole sec three level by storm. Okay, not everyone is tying the same hairstyle but I seem to be seeing more and more conspicuous imitations of the real deal. Shudders. Banish the wannabes! People who used to disparage it due to an inclusion of the bimbo element in it are now all succumbing to peer pressure and soon-to-be-gone trends.
And I have decided to revert back to scrunchies. Because they are timeless, classic hair accesories and screw you all who think they are auntie! Because they are so not auntie(:

Okay pardon the random hairy rant. Geddit? Hairy.
My god I am becoming cornier as the days go by.

Languid monday; total bore. Made a couple of movie dates but damn tests and are keeping me from fulfilling them. The Proposal with den yiting ws (tentative but I cannot contain my excitement because the trailer is so funny) and Management with Amanda (I am so not a fan of Jennifer Aniston but what the heck, it's a rom-com!) Got in touch with hollywood gossip by shamelessly browsing through various magazines at Videoworld, and I CANNOT BELIEVE JON AND KATE HAVE DIVORCED. This is what stupid reality tv shows and fame do to you - cameras pry into your life 24/7 and invade all your means of privacy and then every move detail gesture of your family gets so heavily scrutinized by the media that you don't know what kind of life you're living anymore. Just a facade put up for the camera.

I seriously pity the eight kids of Jon and Kate. It's just sad. They'll have to languish in the absence of a father and an emotionally stressed mother. Hollywood exploits people sometimes. The price of good tv.

I'm a bit disappointed that I missed Keane's concert. Because that was one of the few that was actually worth watching. Grrrr.

Drama Floor Anthem.

2009-08-15T07:39:00.000-07:00

I coudn't have asked for a more crazy manic spontaneous fun-injected evening, after a horrible sleep-deprived week with consecutive late nights, subconscious babblings in class and stoning at the teacher through half-opened droopy eyelids while slumped on the desk like a motionless corspe. Spilled soya bean in the bus (and on isa-belle) got my amath file and pinafore drenched with white sticky protein-filled liquid which stank. Yuck.

Seaweed shaker fries and nuggets never tasted so delectable before, Ms Ng did keep to her word and really ordered Macs for our group which won the vocab game eons ago, and we got to eat it during english (how cool is that!?!?) She actually got the deliveryman to come to tkgs.

Drama Floor Anthem at the studio in the evening- Screamed myself hoarse, minor-moshed, the local bands were really good (I'm actually beginning to like local bands!) but beth was just awesome. Drama SYF piece was so engrossing; creepily enthralling; disturbing in a captivating sort of way, really proud of them all.

Went to Macs after; camwhored shamelessly in marine parade with yiting, den and crystle, with multiple failed jumpshots and candid shots; us trying to act nonchalent and pose in some extravagant model wannabe manner which just made passersby laugh their asses off.

Rest of pics on facebook.

And please do not sms or call my handphone, it's currently dead because it drowned in the water that spilled in my bag today.

Tell me about it.

2009-08-11T05:53:00.000-07:00

Okay my com is seriously pissing the shit out of me, because the stupid youtube movie trailers I took so uber long to upload have mysteriously disappeared into thin air. I don't know why the heck I cannot upload them. God save a TI like me.
I need to write them down somewhere so I won't forget to watch them. (LIKE HOW I MISSED THE BROTHERS' BLOOM, DOUBT AND THE YOUNG VICTORIA)

500 days of Summer
Away We Go
The Education
Adventureland (Michael cera is awesome)
Paper Heart
The Time Traveler's wife
Julie and Julia
Sherlock Holmes (TREEEZA WATCH WITH ME!)

Orchard Ion yesterday with Yiting, Rachel and Nat was fun in a crowded-like-crap-hot-sweaty way.
I seriously had not expected it to be so bloody crowded (but oh well, it was a public holiday after all)
Even though the aircon was blasting, I perspired like crazy and felt so lost and disoriented, with hoards of people thronging the place, and being squashed like a pack of sardines amongst bodies of different sizes whatnot 24/7 was rather traumatising. I actually developed claustrophobia in those few hours.
We didn't get to see all the shops! It's so humungous that it'll probably take a whole day to cover the entire place. But at least now I have a new shopping mall to explore. Awesome.
Shared a ten-dollar ice cream with Yiting at Pasticream(?), some jap ice-cream place. It's definitely a much classier version of ice-cream chefs. IT WAS THE BEST ICE-CREAM I HAD EVER TASTED.
Bought a pair of shoes and a bag, and got scolded like *&%$# by mom. Shit I am becoming a compulsive shopper.

FAILED EMATH AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN.
I am dying.
12/40 is so horrifying.
But I'm getting used to it.

And thursday's CAP PRIMARY interview cum writing test! I have to go all the way down to the MOE gifted education campus (beth go with me!!!). I don't even know why I applied for it; I am so unprepared; my mind's in a total blank and is filled with CAS/SPRING TESTS/CRAP STUFF and I don't even know whether I want this! What am I going to tell the interviewer man. And the writing test oh gosh oh gosh oh gosh.
I am freaking out big-time.

This is where I won't be alone.

2009-08-08T08:22:00.002-07:00

Just a little bit of this and that from friday.

3e2 won the talent concert!

ZOMG LAH DAMN FREAKING HAPPY.

Faustina, Amanda, Samantha, Yiting, , Faizah and Amanda Sng were awesome. Screamed myself hoarse, jumped around maniacally when they annouced the winner (first time was a false alarm when Laura said "IS IT 3E2......or 2e8?" and thoroughly embarrassed myself by screaming and jumping)

National Day celebrations were quite alright. Borrowed Den's kimono dress (thanks hun) and everyone was decked out in red and white and ethnic costumes. Yay to colour. The concert was not bad (though some stupid group "OFF KEY" totally made a fool out of themselves) , but the teachers' surprise performance was seriously the highlight. Mr Teo was hilarious. The teachers never fail to amuse us. Sang all the old national day songs and became patriotic. Bust most people were dead. Nat, me and sathrin practically sang our hearts out, arms and heads swaying side to side.

MOS Burger with one big group, then we split and I watched UP with tat, manda and mel at Marina Square.

I enjoyed Up! Though it wasn't what I had expected. For an animation flick, it's unusually sad, and maybe that's what makes it so heart-rending and unique. Not like all those other flicks with in-your-face slapstick humour aimed at entertaining little kiddies. Tat cried until her whole face was red. I only teared. But the animation and pictures were gorgeous.

Starbucks left me broke.

I need money.

Playing along lyrics.

2009-08-06T03:41:00.000-07:00

Bugis with den last night, in the end neither of us bought anything for friday and ended up talking and walking. So much for productivity, but it was just great to go out with her.
Bumped into tat and yiting on the train, strangely coincidental. And then we took the train (with the intention of alighting at bugis) the wrong way and didn't realise it until we were at tampines.

Did the damn 2.4 retest today. Improved by 30 seconds, but missed gold by 14 seconds.
Walking kills everything hahaha.
And I feel so stupid now.
The only reason why my timing is so much worse than my timing last year is because I'm unfit, not un-sporty.
Nothing more to it.
So just run more lor.
I'll just try my best to get a gold next year.

(:

I'm going to watch sunshine cleaning later!
Yay.
Thanks Duan Yi.

Take everything with a pinch of salt.

2009-08-05T02:33:00.001-07:00

Okay whatever that was just some bad pun.
Had lunch with Beth, Wei Sze, Den, Yiting and Treeza at A Pinch of Salt after school!
I had always wanted to chill there but never got the chance.
It's pleasantly quaint, I love the decor of the place! It has such a cosy homey vibe, with quirky stripes and colours and ikea-like plastic chairs<3
Six dollar buffet was HUGE. Calamari rings, fries, nuggets, potato wedges, fried rice, spaghetti, garlic bread and whatnot. Ate and ate and ate and ate. Fried food galore! Sinful but satisfyingly filling.
I MISS HANGING OUT WITH THOSE AWESOME PEOPLE. 2e3 all the way. Loved bonding with everyone.
Played truth or dare, ever ever (much easier than never ever) and all the questions/answers/truths revealed will bloody hilarious. Had to eat so much ice that my whole mouth was totally numb.

Funfunfunfunfun.

AND I SUCCEEDED IN NOT SLEEPING IN ANY LESSON AT ALL TODAY.
So proud of myself. Thanks to tat, who never fails to shake me whenever I begin doze off.
"paige paige don't sleep!"

Illusion.

2009-08-03T07:47:00.000-07:00

Scrambled frantically into class this morning, all panicky and anxious. Guess where I found my bio textbook?
In the class cupboard.
Heh.

I love morning sleepy bus rides with isa-belle.
With consideration of the fact that I troop into the bus every morning looking like a dishevelled mad scientist cum zombie, whatwith my hair falling haphazardly all over my face giving me multiple thick feelers and my eyes barely open, brushing against other sleepy beings on the bus and not giving a hoot whether or not I hit them, it's amazing that I am still able to communicate with her moderately well despite my lack of repose. (And not yell at her face; I am so not a morning person)
Sometimes we can both sleep like logs, totally dao each other or engage in mindless random banter about anything under the sun. And most of the time we're the only ones talking in the bus, because everyone else is catching up on shut-eye.

Some of our places were changed today, and I am very disgruntled.
The awesome foursome of atikah aqilah risa and me have now split and we're all at different ends of the classroom.
This. sucks.
But at least I'm sitting beside ah tat, which is definitely a consolation.
Just don't molest me 24/7 okay, tat? Hahahaha.

Found out at the prata shop that tessa's in Ms June Lee's ballet class.
ZOMG I TOTALLY WENT NUTS.
I am so going to visit her.

It takes two to whisper quietly.

2009-08-02T04:52:00.000-07:00

Mom satisfied my cereal indulgence by buying Waffle Crisp.
And I stocked up on the those japanese buns (found them at the 7-11 at orchard) I've been looking for for such a long time. IT IS BY FAR THE BEST BREAD I HAVE EVER TASTED.
So now I'm one happy person, because food makes me happy.
Vanilla Twiggies and gardenia buns stacked endlessly on shelves brought back treasured memories of CAP.

I realised I have been single-handedly screwing up my life.
1) I might have lost something I borrowed from someone, who might beat the living shit out of me if she finds out. Gulp.
(they say all teenagers scare the living shit out of me!)
2) I have not done my emath homework, though there's a possibility I might fail overall for that damned subject.
3) Procrastinating will be my downfall, because I still need to complete the geog slides. (it has been a month)
4) I have not filed my chem file. Stupid.

And I realised I might have lost my bloody bio textbook, which has notes in it.
Dammit.
I absolutely cannot stand it when I lose things.
BECAUSE I REMEMBER DISTINCTLY LEAVING IT AT HOME AND NOW I 'VE PRACTICALLY COMBED THE ENTIRE HOUSE AND I STILL CAN'T FIND IT.

All these constant frustrations plagueing me has to do with school, in one way or another.
Screw school.

Just wing it.

2009-08-01T08:54:00.000-07:00

FINALLY CAUGHT HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF BLOOD PRINCEEEEE OH YEAH.
Watched it with treeza (who was watching it a second time) at Plaza Sing in the evening, and contrary to what everyone says, I thought it was a good movie. Maybe it's because I didn't read the book in detail (my interest wavered after the terribly long draggy Order of The Phoenix), and forgot half the plot except the scene described in the book where harry and ginny kissed. HAHAHA. And the kiss was pathetic, IT WAS SO STUPID AND SHORT AND UNROMANTIC. GINNY KISSED HARRY, IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE OTHER WAY ROUND.

Daniel radcliffe is ugly.
And Emma Watson is really, really pretty. (Happy, crystle?!?!?)

Sat in the second row from the front, and in the end it was a pretty good experience, because initially I kept complaining about having to avert my eyes upwards and having to strain my neck, but in the end it made everything even more real and exciting because everything was so close-up.
The movie had a lot of suspense man. The Death Eaters swopping over London Bridge scene was AWESOME; it was well-shot and the special effects used were good. (UNLIKE TRANSFORMERS WHICH JUST THREW EVERYTHING IN EVERY SCENE) And some parts left me at the edge of the seat. I was gnawing my knuckles and had my cardigan covering my face at times, and squeezed treeza's hand nearing the end. I cried when Dumbledore died. It was so sad.

Oh and the movie was seriously witty. Laughed and laughed and laughed. It had the most humour compared to the other five. So overall, I really liked the movie, but I'm so going to read book 6 and 7 all over again. The harry potter fanatic in me has been resurrected from the dead.

In the morning, impetuously arranged a last minute Parkway trip with Raseena and met her at twelve at Borders. Walked around and chatted about our ever-so-sad-lives and thanks for hearing me rant dear.

It was fun hanging out with those buds(:
The soles of my feet are now aching horribly and there are blisters plastered everywhere. Ouch.

Waiting for the seasons to change.

2009-07-31T08:17:00.000-07:00

TGIF - not. (learnt this abbreviation from beth today)
Had one of the worst fridays ever. But I'd really like to thank everyone who comforted me, I'm really touched.

After chinese tuition, sat on the curb forlornly near NTUC at nine-thirty while waiting for dad to pick me up.
And suddenly, this car shone its blinding headlights right into my eyes, before swerving frighteningly near me, and for this ephemeral moment I just wanted it to smash right into me.
But then again, some people think of such stupid ludricrous scenarios when they're so disconsolate and upset.

I would never want to kena something like that lah, obviously.

I guess I've gained enlightenment today.
That true friends are those that'll stand by you, listen to you pour out all your grievances; problems and no matter what, they'll just find a way to make you better. That true friends will stand the passing of time, and nothing can replace friends whom you've known for such a long period, because you'll know they'll be there for you when you need them.

Maybe it's not always a neccessity to constantly promulgate how grateful you are for all your friends, or prove this fact with a flurry of annoying "ILY <333333333s", or gush mushy-wushy words so sickeningly sugary sweet that they can cause tooth decay, because sometimes these things just seem so fake. After having been uttered so casually and commonly in so many other circumstances, won't the true meaning and actual sincerity of such words gradually dissipate and mean nothing eventually?

I just hope all those who've comforted me, stood by me all this while know how much I appreciate them, even though I may not say it aloud all the time.
I'm so blessed to have such friends.
I really, really am.

So thank you.

Everybody's talking how I can't, can't be your love;

2009-07-30T04:51:00.000-07:00

CAS are over. I need to replenish all the sleep I lost, and get some shut-eye. Slept at freaking 2.30 every night, and I'm dead beat. All were pretty alright, except I only finished bio and social studies. Emath was horrible. Failing it will mean I have failed all the emath papers including the spring tests we did from the start of the year. (with the exception of the mid year.) I seriously don't want to fail overall. Oh my gosh. TELL ME WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO MY MATH. I NEED AN ANSWER.

Truth and dare was taken to a whole new level today.
Breakdancing in front of the whole class.
Taking out fbts, standing on the chair and swinging it around in the air.
Break dancing without underwear. (okay this wasn't really carried out to the maximum)

Tessa had to run around with her shorts pulled down to below her knees in front of the class, point to her chest and yell, "THESE ARE FAKE! THESE ARE FAKE!"

I have never laughed so much in my life before.

Currently online shopping, though I absolutely detest it. I just discovered the tracyeinny voucher I won at the guides carnival last month expires on Saturday. I had no idea what a notable and distinguishable blogshop they were until I went to their website. Thought it was just some cheapo ahlian one haha. I don't want to waste getting ten dollars off a purchase! So I'm thinking of travelling down to their showcase whatever shop at PEOPLE'S PARK COMPLEX WHICH IS SO DAMN FAR to see the stuff they have, becasue doing postage and bank transfers are just too much of a hassle.

I realise we never really fully appreciate things until they're gone, because we just seem to possess this very common ability of taking things for granted. This is a rather sad excuse for not treasuring what we have. It may seem strange to talk about the DM'S departure from the school (omg sounds os ominous) in this manner, but I'm going to miss her a lot. She's like so cute/funny/nice/understanding/amicable! And definitely more reasonable than Mdm Lenny. I still remember hating her like nobody's business at the start of the year, after she made me stand up during assembly for talking, being rude to her whenever she spoke to me about my bangs covering my eyebrows, and always sleeping in her lessons. I feel so incredibly guilty now. I was such a bitch man. She's like so damn nice okay. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Social studies sucks now. Mr Low is good, but he's just different.

I CAN'T BELIEVE I JUST TYPED A PARAGRAPH ABOUT THE DM.
Hahahaahahahahahahaha.

And we could have done without the drama.

2009-07-28T01:35:00.000-07:00

Retarded breathless wet spastic screaming crazy wacked abusive fun.
Went down for recess and finally bought from the economic rice store, after having stayed in class for so many weeks.
Sat with 3e2-ers. As we walked round the bend in the canteen, noticed some mass of flies wings(?)/transparent petals/gross bugs surrounding half the floor, and we were stepping on the whole lot.
Screamed like mad and fled. Vic and I went closer to inspect and were scared out of our wits.
My poor new wallet is traumatised after having being manhandled by vic and nat, and after school Rachel was purposely throwing it up in the air right before this puddle of water spilled on the classroom floor, attempting to catch it before it dropped into the water. THEN FOR REAL SHE DROPPED IT D:<

Waterfight ensued. Everything got wet.

Waterfights are fun.

Oh sweetheart, put the bottle down.

2009-07-25T00:11:00.000-07:00

It's official- Ryan has chickenpox.
It's even more contagious than H1N1.
Got scolded by parents because I was treating him like a leper, as they claim.
I can't help it, can I? I'm so incredibly scared I'll catch it.
I cannot bear to even entertain the thought of having to skip school for two weeks.
Dozing off in one amath lesson already leaves me clueless on one entire chapter.
Sec three calls for no rest, you don't have time for anything.
Why oh why couldn't I have gotten chickenpox when I was younger?

I'm practically isolating my brother now.
And if I have to share the com with him, I'm going to drench my hands in hand sanitizer and wear latex gloves. Drastic times call for measures.
Oh please immune system do not let me down. (so transport in mammals-ish)
Going off to the community centre now to mug, I'm so paranoid I don't even want to be in the house.

I am starting to become a compulsive shopper.
Bought a pair of shorts today, (managed to coher a random stranger into getting one too, so we could get the two-for-one deal discount, YAY) and a new wallet, to replace the pink ROXY one dear becca got for me from Thailand. Thanks to me losing my entire MYUK one four months back.

Dammit I feel so unsafe in the house.

We'll stir the stars around, and watch them fall away.

2009-07-24T01:19:00.000-07:00

Not one of the best fridays. Emoed on the bus. I haven't used that word in ages!
Couple of mortifying moments. And I still shudder in utter embarrassment when I recall them.
First thing, the school should just seriously stuff every cubicle with toilet paper. Can they just spare a thought for us and replenish daily sanitary necessities efficiently?
I shall not bother to elaborate on the rest.

Ryan has a fever. And he may have chicken pox.
Please god no. Parents vaccinated all of us last time (like so dense lah, we'll still get it eventually) and so none of us have gotten it yet. IF HE REALLY HAS CHICKEN POX AND IF I CATCH IT I AM SCREWED SHIT.
Okay okay okay touchwood.
And in a mere twist of coincidence, I wrote that long ago due essay titled "Outbreak" for Ms Ng today after school, in the process creating some fictional virus called Danzi.
And Ryan is sick! Okay never mind there's not really any connection.

In a complete unrelated matter,
Insecurities are starting to kick in.
Not good.

Seems like just yesterday.

2009-07-23T02:20:00.000-07:00

This is so unbelivably random and everyone is probably going to think I have gone insanely patriotic. Finally, finally found this National Day Song that I've been looking for on youtube! I couldn't remember the name, and for so many years, could only vaguely recall two lines in the song, as well as the tune. I knew how it went, and I thought the song was called "Moments...something something..." and I just discovered it's actually called Moments Of Magic! Produced in 1999, and was the Singapore Millenium song, and Fann Wong, Tanya Chua, Elsa Lin (!??! Mrs Diane Ang bears an uncanny resemblance to her) sang it. So technically it's not an NDP song, but never mind. I still remember how I'd always jump up whenever I saw the music video being played back then, I would jump up and start dancing + singing maniacally.

Gave Ange a yellow rose today, and her very belated letter. I AM SUCH A NICE PERSON(:
New route for 2.4km. [YES BETH I SHALL REPLY YOU HERE(:] Excused from PE, so didn't get to try it out. I hope it'll be less taxing on my poor frail body.

Tessa was mysteriously impregnated by an unknown source today. Take care dear.
If she sees this, I'll probably end in hospital tomorrow.

Went to Pasta Mania with Rach, Amanda and Treeza for lunch.
I need to be less blur, and more alert.

Hope floats.

2009-07-22T04:32:00.000-07:00

Nearly froze my butt off shivering in my seat, with constant draft entering the windows, and the fact that I sit right under the fan did not improve the situation. But the rain was so refreshing. I love staring out of rain-stained window panes in the middle of lessons, gazing at the overcast sky and basking in the oppressive gloom of the weather. Strange, but I love rain rain rain rain.
It would have been cooler if a thunderstorm had occurred though.

Highlight of the day:
That ass Nat smacking the sole of her filthy, dirty, shoe right into my face. TELL ME, WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE SUCH ABUSIVE TREATMENT HUH!?!?!? Sob.

Passed amath. 21.5 over 40. Thank you thank you thank you. I am not going to repeat this shit again. Listening compre was erm; no comment. I think I had a few answers were wrong, and that's very demoralising, but I really hope I can obtain a decent mark. And I initially signed my name in INK on the OAS sheet (the one for shading!), then nearly recoiled in horror when I found out what I had done. Hastily cancelled my signature before signing it again with a pencil. How the heck could I have made such a mistake.

Who knew that a tiny tub of cold, creamy peanut butter ice cream topped with brownies and kueno bueno could momentarily provide such heavenly surreal bliss? Ice cream chefs with Amanda after may have burned a hole in my wallet, (no free mix-ins today) but I proclaim ice-cream to be the bestest comfort food ever.

Bittersweet.

2009-07-21T03:30:00.001-07:00

My stomach, legs, shoulders all ached after Napfa. So much for being fit.

Did quite alright yesterday, Sit and Reach (my worst item! But got a 43 after stretching for days, DAMN PAIN. ) left my right leg paralysed. Sit-ups 34, shuttle run 11.2, couldn't be bothered for second tries because they were already As. Hahahaha. Then Standing Broad Jump was 182, and the stupid teacher didn't allow me a second try to attempt for an A. WHERE GOT SUCH THING LAH. Pull-ups-14, my arm muscles failed me:(

I AM NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO 2.4. I hate long-distance.

No disecting of any heart today during bio. What a pity. Reason being, as Mr Peh claimed:

"I don't know how to disect."

Right.
But at least we didn't have to go to the bio lab.

Sprayed water like a fountain all over my desk, calculator, pinafore, blouse because Natasha did some stupid thing that for some inexplicable reason made me burst out laughing when my mouth was full of water. Sat throughout drenched and soaked. Thanks, Nat.
Failed Emath paper, AGAIN. WHEN AM I EVER GOING TO FREAKING PASS LAH. (with exception of mid-years)
MS YEO HATES ME. This is so horrible.
Oh well. Peanut butter from the jar makes me happy.

MT o'level listening comprehension tomorrow.
It's Ting Li for goodness sake. I need to pass this, and get a good grade. Please please please.
Makes me wonder how I failed the HMT one last May, with a very nice looking 8/20.
I shall go dig my ears.
Okay I need to have confidence.

Bus 31 with den, weisze to end off(:

Kabloom.

2009-07-20T03:26:00.000-07:00

Maybe, just maybe.

I know what I have to do now.

Because I hate goodbyes.

2009-07-18T23:24:00.000-07:00

Fifteen long years, thank you for everything.
God bless you, Auntie Leyne.
My eyes are puffy, red and I could barely open them this morning.
Last night was bathed in tears, cried in Borders while looking for her present in the afternoon, and in the car while going home from Parkway, and at the airport.
I'll miss her, so much.

On a more comforting notes,
I finally found the virgin suicides at borders, after searching for it for aeons.
Hooray.

If You Could See Me Now.

2009-07-17T08:08:00.000-07:00

vaish I always knew you were going to be head prefect ever since the day I met you and you sat beside me in class and booked me for eating bread during mr yap's lesson and you are going to be the most awesome head prefect in the history of awesome head prefects.

I LOVE YOU VAISH!

Pink pigs ftw<3

Screamed and screamed when they announced the exco over the PA system today.
Yes I know I am slow because sadly there aren't any prefects in 3e2 so I was unable to get any info beforehand.
Screamed more when I found out BOF was on the cover of teenage. Wei Sze, Jun Pyo is hot. He just is!
Bonded with den after school(: I miss you den! Chatted in my class for a while before she left for tuition. Then I came home and Auntie Leyne painted my toenails pink. I can't believe she's leaving tomorrow. Fifteen years of being part of the family and she's leaving. I don't even want to think about it.
Slept on the couch, before leaving for Parkway for chinese tuition.
Got ragged on by dad about my exorbitant expediture. I HATE THAT. Got super pissed off because he called me a compulsive shopper, just because I bought some Cotton On stuff, and that I had to borrow money for him to buy presents for numerous good friends this month. What is so wrong about loving my friends and wanting them to be happy on their birthday, instead of being nonchalent about such important things and not give them anything? That would be so uhhs.
I so need to get a job.

It's raining paper hearts from above.

2009-07-16T09:16:00.000-07:00

FINALLY FINISHED FILMING CHINESE PROJECT VIDEO SCENES.
My gosh. I hope they don't ever, ever show it to the class, or rather ANYONE who knows who I am.
If not, I can never show my face in public for as long as I live. Never. Ever. Ever.
I looked like shit, acted like shit (what was with the angmoh-chinese?) and walao man looked so bloody fat in the video. I am so appalled at how horribly unglam I looked/and acted in the video. ARGH SO PAISEH.
HATE STUPID CHINESE. HATE STUPID CHINESE.
I am never ever going act in a video ever again. Will kope the camera woman's job next time.

Damn tired now.
MOS Burger with vic, rach at Parkway for lunch.
The highlight of yesterday was pretty much the fact that I was late for school.
Missed the school bus, took SBS, then as soon as the bunch of us on bus 31 stepped out at the bubble tea bus stop, it began to pour.
Shared my polka-dot umbrella with the girl from 3e8, Sumin, who's really nice. Screamed and ran all the way to school.
My first ever latecomers' booking slip.

Tuesday Night Lights.

2009-07-14T08:10:00.000-07:00

Shopped for july babies' presents, literally went round half the island to get everything.

Parkway with the gang, Jie Shi treated us to ice-cream at Swensens since it was her birthday (love you girl!) I haven't eaten the Earthquake in such a long time. Didn't bring my handphone and lost them along the way, so walked around and bought some presents. And I went slightly crazy because I saw so many things I wanted to buy for myself (so much for only buying for others) I AM COMING BACK THERE. TOPSHOP HAS SALE!

Rushed home before running out of the house again and trained to Orchard alone, to look for specific presents. Tsk, the things I do. Parkway isn't really ideal. It's getting boring because everyone buys stuff from there! Almost fell flat on my face when I stumbled over a step outside the MRT station. I LOVE ORCHARD. Haven't been there in ages, and it's still happy bustling at night. Except the garish neon lights suck.

Walked to Wisma, then Shaw Tower, then Far East, then Shaw Tower again, and back to Far East.

BLOODY HELL ISETAN JUST CLOSED AT EXACTLY 9.30 AND I BEGGED THE SECRUITY GAURD TO LET ME IN TO BUY WHAT I HAD TO BUY AND HE REFUSED AND I PLEADED BUT HE STILL REFUSED AND SAID, "GIRL AH THE CASHIERS ALL WENT HOME!'

And then some auntie in the shop yelled at me to come back tomorrow.

So I have to go all the way back, tomorrow.

Amath CA was stupid, and totally wasted. Left the whole bloody graph question blank because I couldn't find the equation, and only after the paper when I tried it again I could figure it out in an instant.

What the hell is wrong with me nowadays. Curse those mental blocks.

Newspaper candy.

2009-07-13T01:23:00.000-07:00

I am going to post my birthday wishes.
(most, belated, others, not)

Happy Birthday Jasmine!
Happy Birthday Pei Hua!
Happy Birthday Raseena!
Happy Birthday Amanda!
Happy Birthday Jie Shi!

(: Love you guys many many.

And someone, please start making me give a shit.
Day can only get worse.
Like beth, I did not finish my compo.
I am never going to try to write something like that ever again.

Flea at Clarke Quay.

2009-07-11T22:45:00.000-07:00

Candid shots. Rest on fb.

Flea market with Tatty, Rach, Ting yesterday was a refreshingly fresh fun experience.

Got lost (as expected) and we were walking round and round Upper Circular Road until I finally spotted a bunch of obscure shops hidden in some crack at the corner of the street. Rummaged through piles of clothes, got excited whenever we saw a topshop label (we are shallow in the fact that we are so brand-conscious), camwhored with geek specs, sunnies. Zomg I really enjoyed myself! Company was awesome.

Later, Central with tat and rach, Rock Candy at Sticky, Yoshinoya and slacked by the Singpore River. Went to Plaza Sing with rach, Daiso-ed and Spotlight-ed. I accomplished much!

My 4'o'clock curfew for studying totally died and I came back at 9pm.

Been spending my afternoon making birthday cards, and I still have five presents to buy. July babies always come in large numbers.

For a pessimist, I'm pretty optimistic.

2009-07-10T01:14:00.000-07:00

Being superstitious, I started worrying over bad omens, and that after that stupid chinese oral, and emath CA, I would suffer the same sad fate for English Oral.
But surpringly, it went pretty well. Damn happy and relieved. Reading, picture and convo revolved around storms, environment, weather. I'm so glad I got that topic.

AND BLOODY EFF TODAY'S CHINESE ORAL TOPIC WAS SO *%@!!?%*#$! EASY SHIT THAT I'M SO EFFING UNLUCKY TO HAVE NOT GOTTEN IT.
I mean like yeah it's over, BUT DAMMIT IT WAS ONE FREAKING DAY LATER. I can't contain my fury. I don't care if I sound like a total sour grape, but arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
I would've been able to rattle on like a machine gun if that had been the topic.
Revised it so in depth and it was so darn easy. UNFAIR WTH.
Pissed off, big-time. (I know it contradicts my above emotions, currently bipolar)
Okay phew.

I'm tired of ranting.

I also realised I do not contain Peripheral Vision, as Mr Michael Corbidge in CAP says everyone must have, because I was unable to see the triangle in 3-D and that it was a right angle, resulting in me leaving the whole ten-mark question blank for emath CA. Trigo sucks, in that way.

Videoworld with Vic and Nat, movie tests, Aqilah is seriously knows her movies.
Drank a whole can of Pokka green tea without getting dizzy for once, YAY.
I have officially cured myself of the pokka green tea allergy.